Page 43 of Stuck with the Grump

“Good.”

I lowered my mouth to hers, determined to enjoy the time we had left. I may not get to keep her forever, but I would make these precious moments as good as I possibly could.

19

LEIGH

Weranbacktothe house, leaving our clothes on the dock and laughing as we fell onto the bed in front of the fireplace. Clarke lit the fire before helping me up from the bed. We stood under the spray of the shower, washing away the chill of the lake, until the water turned cold. When we finally got out, it was only enough time to grab a bottle of wine before heading back to the bed.

“I wish we were the same age,” I said, taking a long sip of wine from the bottle. “If we were, we could have gotten to know each other sooner. I could have avoided so many horrible relationships. Maybe we’d be in the same stage of life, too.”

“If we had been the same age, you wouldn’t have been able to tolerate me. I was a stupid teenager. Whenever I left my room or wasn’t website flipping, I said all the wrong things and hurt too many people to count.”

“So, you were a nerdy jerk?”

“The worst kind of jerk. At least with the jocks, they have the potential of peaking in high school. I had nothing going for me back then.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I said, stretching my legs out and feeling the warmth of the fire against my skin. “Everybody knows that the nerds are the best at orgasms.”

“Oh?” Clarke said, quirking an eyebrow and trailing his hand along my thigh. “Is that true?”

“From my experience, yes.”

Clarke laughed and grabbed the bottle from me, taking a long drink. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I think I do. The last man I was with definitely peaked in high school. After all, what kind of man spends his days telling you that when you get married, you should stop pursuing a career so you can raise an army of children?”

“The kind who doesn’t realize what kind of amazing woman is standing right in front of him.”

The warmth in Clarke’s eyes nearly ripped my heart from my chest. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him I would stay. To give up everything and stay with him. Why did he have to make it so hard for me?

“You know, I used to think that life was supposed to make sense after I graduated. I would start building my career and spend my life working toward all the things I wanted the most. I thought that I would meet a nice man and settle down.”

“Life usually doesn’t go the way you think it does.”

“I’m starting to see that.”

I ran a hand through my wet hair, pulling it over one shoulder to weave it into a braid. The flames flickered and danced in the hearth, rising higher with pops and sparks that shot upward.

“Do you ever think about what life would be like if you were somebody else entirely? What would you look like or what you would do with your life? I used to think about it all the time. When I was with my ex, I thought of all the ways I could escape being a homemaker.”

“I think it’s normal to want to escape your life.” Clarke set the bottle to the side and fell back against the bed, linking his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. “Sometimes I thought about what I would have done with my life if my family hadn’t been able to buy me a computer.”

“Where do you think you’d be?”

“Probably working a job I hated, married to a woman I didn’t love anymore, and looking for a way out.”

I nodded, biting my bottom lip and staring at Clarke’s profile. His jaw was clenched as his eyes darted over to look at me before looking back at the ceiling.

“Do you think it’s possible to love somebody throughout your entire life?” I fell back beside him, rolling onto my side and putting one arm beneath my head. “My parents have been together for years but that seems like the exception, not the rule.”

Clarke was silent for a while, but I could see the gears turning in his head. His mouth moved several times, opening and closing before he let himself say what was on his mind. I could see the conflict in his eyes as he finally sighed.

“I think that we all get one great love in life. One person you would set the world on fire for, and they would stand in the flames and laugh with you. Everybody else you’re with could never compare and maybe you convince yourself that you’re happy for a while. But then you start wondering if that person is out there. Or maybe, they’ve already left you and you spend the rest of your life comparing everyone to them.”

“That’s a pretty bleak outlook,” I said, processing what he said. “Do you think that there’s only one person you love enough to spend your life with?”

“There could be more than one, but I don’t think it’s the same as that one person.”

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