Time seemed to freeze around me as I watched him. It was everything I had wanted to hear and yet, fear rose in my chest. The room started to shrink, the walls closing in as my heart beat faster. I thought about my mom and her long struggle ahead, and Tyson. They were best friends and he wouldkillClarke if he found out about us.

“Clarke, I don’t think it’s a good time for me. With my mom’s cancer diagnosis and opening the gallery, there’s not going to be a lot of time left in my life for anything else. And what about Tyson? He’s your best friend, and he’s already told me how he feels about the two of us together.”

“Fuck Tyson. Let me deal with him. I want to be with you, Leigh. You just have to trust me.”

I shook my head, tears pouring down my cheeks. “I really think it’s best if we don’t continue this after we go home.”

His mouth became a thin line and he shook his head before he looked away, his gaze becoming distant.

There was the earth-shattering moment my heart tore in two. I wanted to fall into his arms and tell him that he was everything I wanted. He was more than enough for me and yet, I didn’t want to chain him to a life of sitting by a dying woman’s bedside and the scrutiny of the paparazzi dissecting every aspect of my life was too much to bear. Plus, I didn’t know how I could face my brother on top of everything already going on with my mom. It would divide our family right when we needed to be a united front.

“Fine, you already know what I want, but I’m not going to be the one to hold you back, Leigh. I understand. You have your own life to live. We are in two completely different places in our lives and you have things you need to do. I understand.”

“Please say something other than you understand.”

He gave me a sad smile, the corner of his mouth turning up. “There’s nothing else to say, Leigh.”

Clarke wiped away my tears with his thumb and kissed my temple before getting out of bed.

Once he was gone, I drew my knees to my chest, wondering if I had just made a massive mistake.

18

CLARKE

Leighhadbeenavoidingme all day. She spent a lot of time pretending that she was working on her business though every few minutes, she would look up at me with glassy eyes. It hurt to see her that way, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her to rearrange her life for me.

Instead, I holed myself inside the dining room and worked through another set of boxes. It was only when my stomach started growling and my vision blurred that I came out of the dining room.

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her to stay as I saw her sitting out by the water. She had dragged the patio furniture down and a fire was burning bright in the fire pit. Leigh was wrapped in a heavy blanket, her knees drawn to her chest.

As I made a sandwich, I watched her, wondering what she could possibly be thinking. The wind blew her hair behind her as waves lapped against the shore in the distance. It was easy to picture a life spent on a lake, looking out to see her relaxing every night. Though it had only been a matter of days, she had wormed her way into my heart. She was the first person I thought about in the morning and the last person I thought about at night.

Even after we left here and she went on with her life, I knew that I wouldn’t meet another woman like her. She was a breath of fresh air compared to what I had been used to. There were no games with her. Nothing to try to guess.

She was everything I wanted and couldn’t have.

My phone started ringing, Tyson’s picture appearing on the screen. I swiped my thumb across the screen before sitting down at the island and cutting my sandwich in half.

“How’s the case building going?” Tyson asked. “They still haven’t set a trial date yet, but the lawyers are starting to drive me crazy.”

“I’m doing as best I can. Leigh’s been helping a lot.”

“Yeah? How is she doing? I’ve been trying to get her to answer my calls, but she keeps sending me to voicemail. Mom said that she didn’t sound like she was doing good on the phone.”

“I don’t fully know. She won’t really talk about it.”

“What’s she doing now?”

“Staring at a fire.”

“She’s trying to go numb then.” Tyson sighed. I could picture him pacing in his office on the other end of the line. “She’ll sit by that fire until she’s burned every tree in the forest if you let her.”

“She goes numb by staring at fires?”

“She goes numb by sitting there and doing nothing other than overthinking. Fire, wall, TV, doesn’t matter. She’ll keep sitting there until she loses herself to her thoughts.”

“So, I shouldn’t let her sit out there alone?” I asked, worry starting to rise as Leigh held her knees tight to her chest.