Page 23 of Stuck with the Grump

WhenIwokeupbeside Leigh the next morning, I felt like throwing up.

Thoughts of what we were doing started racing through my head almost immediately. I was sleeping with a girl thirteen years my junior after her mother was diagnosed with cancer and I had screwed her over. She was too good for me, that much was clear.

If our mothers could see us now, they would both be disappointed. I know my mother would be dragging me by the ear to Leigh’s door to apologize and try to fix what I had broken. It was easy to imagine the look on her face as she cleared her throat and gave me the disapproving stare I had gotten so many times as a child.

Hell, I was giving myself that same disapproving look in the mirror now.

I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing I could. I yanked on a pair of jeans, pulled on a charcoal Henley, slipped into my sneakers, and went for a walk in the icy rain. Though the rain was cold against my skin, it did nothing to clear my mind.

Wet leaves blew in the strong wind, plastering themselves on the pavement. I looked at the other houses on the road, seeing people moving around inside. None of them seemed to have taken a tree through the front of their house like Leigh and I had.

Which brought me back to the dilemma at hand––Leigh and what the hell I was going to do about her.

Leigh was damaged goods I didn’t have time for. Hell,Iwas damaged goods that she definitely didn’t have time for. Yet, I found myself wanting both of us to make time to unravel the other. I had seen her come undone in bed but I wanted to see the walls she built so high around her crumble down too.

Between the embezzlement case and the mess I had made in the media, there was more than enough work on my plate.

In that same second, I knew I would clear whatever I needed to from my schedule to spend more time with her.

I might not be good enough for her but I was willing to take any chance she was willing to give. Stuffing my hands deep in my pockets as I walked, I thought about what a life with her might look like. She wasn’t the kind of woman who wanted my money or cared that I had it. Not once since we had been together the past few days had she ever asked about the balance of my bank account.

The other women in my life had thought that the only good thing about me was my money. They had wanted the expensive dinners and gifts, the chance to be seen with me in pictures online and have their own careers take off.

It was sickening. Each of those short-lived romances had fizzled out after a few months.

Now there was a woman with a mouth like a sailor who wasn’t afraid to call me on my shit. She was the first woman to seem like she didn’t need me in her life. It was liberating. With her, I felt like I could finally be myself.

When I returned to the house, my clothing was soaked through and the chill I felt went straight to my bones. I had gotten lost in my own head while walking, trying to work out all of my problems on the side of a washed-away road.

“You’re soaked,” Leigh said, the second I crossed the threshold and shut the door behind me. “What have you been doing out there?”

“I had some things to think about.”

She rolled her big brown eyes at me. “Alright, drama queen. Some of us can think about the things we need to think about while not trying to catch a cold.”

“Well, I like to live dangerously.”

Leigh snorted and shook her head. “Clarke, the day you live dangerously is the day fuck stops being my favorite word.”

“Funny.”

“I’m serious. I don’t think you’ve done anything dangerous since you got rich. When have you had time to live? Have you done anything other than look at the decimal places in your bank account and figure out how to move it more to the right than it already is?”

“That almost sounds like you find my money disgusting.”

“No. You did well for yourself, and you should be proud of the work you put in.” She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and frowned. “What bothers me is the person behind the money. I think last night should be the last time we sleep together. This isn’t a good idea and we’ll both just be better off for it.”

“Leigh, I don’t even know what you’re talking about right now. You don’t even really know me.”

“And maybe that’s part of the problem. You and Tyson had already moved out by the time I could really remember you being in my life. We don’t have anything in common.”

“How do you know that if you’ve never bothered to find out?” I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, watching the way her gaze flitted around the hallway and her weight shifted from foot to foot.

“We’re different people on very different paths. I don’t need to get to know you better to know that.”

“Really? Because a couple days ago, you were interested in getting to know me. Hell, you wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That was before you decided that the bullshit plastered all over the internet about me was more important than my damn feelings.”

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