Page 76 of Shattered Silence

So, what now, Tharian?

You’re still suffocating me. Let go.

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Drop the barriers, the shields, those layers upon layers of stone-hard discipline, just for a moment. I need to get out.

And how the fuck am I supposed to do that?

The Tharian paused. I always feel that your control slips when you think of her. You figure it out, soldier.

Ah. Still at a loss as to what was expected of him, Enki delved into his recent memories, focusing on his mate. They had only known each other for such a short time, but it already felt like an eternity. He emptied his mind of all thought, focusing only on her.

He remembered her sweet feminine scent and soft dewy skin, marred only by the faint scratches left by Mirkel’s savagery. Anger. Her shimmering brown eyes, looking at him with such warmth, thawing his black soul from the inside. Her long, lithe arms and legs, curving around him, her hands on his body, conveying her pure, perfect desire. Lust. Oh, he could lose himself in her, could drown in her heady scent; her glorious presence, listening to the rhythm of her strong-yet-fragile heart. Contentment.

The Tharian slipped away, bit by bit, extricating her invisible tendrils from his consciousness, and it felt both painful and good. He could sense the pull of the other being; this human host, and as the Tharian left him, he opened his eyes and found himself bathed in green light.

And he was exposed.

Vulnerable.

An electric ripple ran over his scalp and down his spine. His skin tingled all over. It felt as if someone were squeezing his heart from inside his chest.

The sensation triggered a cascade of memories. He remembered the very moment the Tharian had entered his body. Surrounded by fire and ash and the dozens of charred bodies, he had consumed her dying heart in order to restore his own ravaged flesh.

Reduced to nothing more than a savage beast, he was operating on pure instinct rather than any coherent thought.

A mindless predator.

A killer.

Survive.

Goodbye, warrior.

She flowed out of him, and in the process, tore Enki’s entire consciousness apart.

He screamed, his voice muffled by the thick, viscous liquid.

The body in front of him jerked and writhed, moving away from him, pushed by some unseen force. A great force radiated outward from where they had touched, and Enki was thrown against the thick glass of the tube.

It shattered.

He landed on the cold floor, wet, naked, unable to comprehend the blue lights or voices or the blood-curdling screams from the human body beside him; high-pitched sounds that shredded his sensitive hearing, causing pain to lance through his skull.

His claws were out. His vision blurred. A wall in his mind shattered, and a flood of painful memories engulfed him. Everything was jumbled and fragmented, but it was all horrifying.

Losing control was the worst possible thing that could happen. The worst.

And finally, Enki understood why he hated being powerless.

Your existence is meaningless, boy. Your conception was a mistake. I should never have allowed you to be brought into this world.

Hands were upon him, and someone loomed over him. He couldn’t stand it. He fought with all his strength, lashing out with his claws, sinking his fangs into exposed flesh, finding the large artery that could bleed out quickly, resulting in death.

A strong hand closed around his throat. “Enki. Stop.”

But the words were a faint echo in the back of his mind, unable to break through the haze of rage and fear. He fought harder, wrapping his arm around his captor’s neck, squeezing hard.

---