Page 50 of Café Diablo

I take a quick turn down a small corridor for privacy. If Olivia’s going to be her normal profanity-happy self, the last thing I want is one of my colleagues coming up to speak to me and seeing my phone filled with dirty messages.

Ned:If you have tarts, you’re restricted to after-hours delivery only!

Olivia:What if I don’t like to follow directions?

Ned:You are NOT allowed anywhere near the courthouse.

Olivia:What if I wear a disguise (handcuffs maybe) and hide in the back, pretending to be innocent?

Ned:Nothing about you is innocent.

A picture shows up in response. It’s an image of her looking coy and sexy into the camera with her dark hair pulled away from her shoulders. It’s only a headshot—thank God!—but the way she’s taken it, with lots of neck and skin and shoulder showing, well, it only takes a little creativity to imagine her not wearing anything below the edge of the photo.

My pants suddenly feel tight, which is not good considering I’ve only got a few minutes before I’m back in front of the judge.

Ned:My point exactly.

Olivia:Zoom in.

I click on the photo and enlarge the image, only to see tiny flecks of gold all over her shoulders. Her sexy freckles are covered in—

Ned:Please tell me that’s NOT what I think it is?

Olivia:If you think it’s God’s gift to crafting, then yes!

Ned:I’m never touching you again. Not with that demon glitter on your skin!

Olivia:Oh, I’d like to see you try to resist. Remember that glitter test … it’s coming.Prepare yourself.

Ned:To treat you like a leper?

Olivia:Glitter is equivalent to boils and lesions? You have a messed up way of looking at the world.

Ned:I disagree. And yes,I will sue you if you get glitter anywhere near me.

Olivia:Wait till I tilt the camera down and send you the next picture.

Ned:Don’t you dare!

Olivia:You realize those three words are like sealing your own death certificate? Oh, Ido dare.

Ned:I implore you, please don’t ruin the incredibly sexy image I have from the other night of you and your—what’s the right word?

Olivia:Moon-kissed naked bod coming on your cock?

Ned:Jesus, woman!

Olivia:Yes, I do think I was saying something similar to that at the time.

Ned:Point being, put the glitter away!

Olivia:Or what?

I don’t answer. Waiting her out.

I see if I can call her bluff rather than give her the pleasure of baiting me. Though maybe it’s futile. After all, my cock’s already a little pants-happy remembering her in the hammock, and this whole game of tit-for-tat has me starting to sweat—but in a good way, because it’s fun and I actually like doing it.

Olivia:Aaaaand what if I remove the glitter?

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