Page 76 of Whiskey Splash

“I know that,” I sass, throwing my hands in the air. “That was rhetorical.”

“Rhetorical is the fact that you are not working this event,” Arie’s voice goes up with her insistence. “What you’re going to do is buy yourself the sexiest damn evening gown you can find, so when you’re hanging off of Desmond’s flip-me-over-backwards arms—”

“Hey, I’m sitting right here!” Connor interjects, warning Arie to back off of the Desmond-love-fest.

“Arms that are clearly not as gorgeous as Connor’s man-pipes,” she tosses at him flippantly. “The point is, when everyone is looking in your direction, you want them to think, Damn!That’s the luckiest man on the planet.”

“Except for me,” Connor tosses in. “Cause I get to go home with the dirtier and nastier twin.”

“That says a lot about you,” I say dryly, and he smiles.

“Yes, it does.”

I roll my eyes at Connor, but Arie’s grinning like he tossed her a cut diamond.

“I’m not getting in the middle of this,” Connor asserts. “But my vote is on the dress. In fact, ask him to go with you when you try them on. That way he can pick what he likes best.”

“And what do I say when he asks what the hell I need this dress for?” I ask, throwing a hand on my hips.

“Easy.” Connor shrugs. “Don’t tell him anything. He’ll go mad at the idea that you’d be wearing whatever he’s picked out in public without him; that alone will probably get him to invite you to the party on the spot.”

Arie points at Connor like that was some foolproof Einstein-level plan that she’s ready to endorse with an ovary. I frown at both of them.

“It sounds like both of you have been breathing too much burnt fruit,” I retort, grabbing my purse before heading for the door. “I’ve got to get to work.” I nod to the bar covered in half-made drinks. “Don’t go overboard and stress yourself out like you did before the restaurant opened,” I warn Arie, then point at Connor. “Please keep an eye on her.”

“I always do,” he says sweetly, then points back at me. “I’m not kidding about dress shopping. Do it. And wear something sexy underneath. That way, when you ask him to zip up the back in the dressing room, he’ll be thinking about taking the dress off as much as putting it on.”

“Are you two the same person?” I ask, pointing between Connor and Arie, and frown suspiciously. First, my sister gets Naomi to join in her meddling habits, and now Connor too? “I’m starting to suspect that Arie and I didn’t share a womb,” I toss at Connor. “But instead, it was actually the two of you who were separated at birth! You’ve been drinking too much Arie-Kool-Aid!”

“That would mean I’m fucking my brother!” Arie calls out.

“I wouldn’t put it past you!” I shoot back.

Connor just laughs. “Esme, maybe start with bedding the guy,” he tosses at me as I open the door to head to the elevator. “That usually helps seal the deal.”

“Wait what?” Arie’s eyes cut to me like an eagle on prey. “You and Desmond haven’t actually—?”

“Aaaaand, I’m late for work,” I say, walking out backwards. “Thanks Connor.”

“You said it first.” He shrugs as my sister untangles herself from the bar and speeds in my direction. I turn fast and scamper toward the elevator, managing to get the doors to close just as Arie is exiting the restaurant and stalking toward me. I swear, dragon fire is breathing out of her nostrils. I wave sweetly as the doors slide shut, allowing me to escape.

Of course, I know that’s not the end of it. It never is. But maybe it will distract her from obsessing over cocktails and feeling the need to impress Hollywood.

Maybe.

* * *

Later that afternoon, I’m between massage clients when I get a text message from Desmond. I almost drop the phone when I read it.

Desmond:Your sister just messaged me asking why I haven’t, and I’m quoting here, “reamed you with my hot throbbing man-pike.”

My sister is such a delight.

I twist out of the hallway and turn into a private nook of the spa where a cascading lotus fountain sprinkles my feet. I do my best to hide my cell phone so it doesn’t bother any of the passing patrons.

Esme:I’m sorry! That puts a new level on meddling sister now doesn’t it?

Desmond:Yeah, that’s an understatement.

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