Page 13 of Madame Mayhem

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

When I open my eyes, Lily is still there. She’s been in my eyeline for the last twenty minutes. She’s searching for that stocky pit-bull of a killer, but he’s dead and gone. She’s got that same lost look in her pretty eyes like when my father got shot. I have to take her out of her misery.

I’m half lit up from the drink, but I make my way over to her. She’s on the other side of the clubhouse roaming back and forth near the entryway like a puppy waiting for their master to come back. The black and white tiles are blurry in front of me. I sober a little when I see the red rims around her eyes. She’s distraught, and this part I hate. She hides her face from me, dropping her blonde hair forward. Her and Bull did have something, and the heart does what it does.

“Lily baby, come have a drink with me. Come on down. Come on.” I’m close to slurring, but not quite.

Her forlorn eyes keep watching the clubhouse door. “No. Are you drinking right now Fi? Are you celebrating something? What’s going on? I got a day off and I’m looking for Bull. Normally he would have text me by now, but I haven’t heard from him…” she bites her lower lips and I drag her over to the booth away from the two whores who are laughing at her innocence. I give them the middle finger behind her back.

Their eyes pop back in their heads and they start talking to one another.

“That’s what I fucking thought!Mind your fucking business or you can get up outta here,” I yell over at them.

“We got a right to be here. We were invited,” one of them declares, crossing her arms over her fake breasts. I hate those bitches. They’re the same ones who were talking smack about me when Slash picked me up on the bike.“She’s gonna get eaten alive.”Their jealous words ring out in my mind now.

How you like me now bitches.I hate for Lily being so naïve and unprotected.

“You will beuninvited if you don’t shut the hell up. You better chill out over there and mind the business that pays you.” That oughta shut the whole thing down.

I watch for them to make any wrong movements, but they don’t. Both are stunned and they run their mouths too much. If I have my way the boys won’t be able to have them hanging around the clubhouse. All of them will have to get behind the bar and do some work or something. I make a mental note to bring it up at the next club meeting. A smile greets my lips as I know Slash is going to be running it.

I’ve been keeping my mouth shut out of respect for the prospects who like to run through them, but not anymore. I’m going to shout from the rooftops if I need to about their bullshit.

I face Lily and get back to what I’m saying. “Lily, remember that conversation we had about these bikers and that they're not always easy to deal with. Most of them have a ton of baggage and don't know how to deal with it.

“Yeah, then you said they eventually come around.” She’s still got her eye on the door and ain’t no way Bull’s being resurrected from the dead.

“I did…” I look into the fright in her eyes. This one is so smart – book smart – cop smart and can shoulder the crap they dish out at the Serenity cop station, but today she’s weak. I have to take her hands to stop them from shaking. “And they do when it comes to the ladies.” I beckon one of the new prospects over to the booth so he can make Lily a drink. Take the edge off. He’s a better fit for her than some old fucker that just wanted some young pussy to bury himself inside. A flash of the truckers who violated one too many times to count slides through my mind. Shifting it out I crunch on the ice in my drink. “Can you get Lily a drink Simon?”

“Lily, what do you want?”

“Ah- I’m not drinking, but one won’t hurt me. Gin and tonic.”

“Gin and tonic it is.” I wait for a minute, running my hands over the table, trying to ease her in as much as possible.

“Okay.” I don’t say anything until her drink comes back. Simon drops her drink in front of her, giving her a flirty look. She doesn’t catch it because she’s so caught up on Bull. I watch her take a hesitant sip.

“Lilly, sometimes the baggage makes them act in ways that don't make sense. And they end up doing things that get them in trouble.”

“Oh fuck! Fiona, did Bull get locked up? I gotta get to the station, whatever they got Bull on I'm sure I can talk to Sheriff Hunter and get him out. Shit!” Lilly leaps up out of the booth and stands up. She almost knocks over her drink. I shake my head grabbing her wrist.

“Lilly, Lilly, honey listen to me. Here, come sit next to me. Relax. It’s okay.” I can feel her panic. Lilly sits next to me in the booth moving closer to me and I put my hands around her slender shoulders. She’s fragile, even more fragile than me.

“Honey, Bull did the wrong things to the wrong people and he got dealt with.” I raise my drink to my lips in satisfaction.

“WHAT? Wait,noooo. What the fuck do you mean dealt with Fiona?”

“Lilly, Bull isn't coming back.” My eyes stare flatly into hers delivering the truth.

The pain in her eyes when she finally realizes what I was saying, tears a hole through my soul right from its core. All the shit I've been through, as strong as I am, I can’t hold back the tears. I can feel the pain radiating from her.

The poor thing just found her other half and now he's gone. The fucker got what he deserved, but Lilly didn't deserve the aftermath.

“Lilly, honey,” I can hardly get the words out. I gasp for air, this raw pain is all too familiar to me, and I hate hearing her sob. Her head is bent over and her head is sheltered in her hands. “Listen, I got you! You hear me, Lilly? I got you. You stay with me, I'm gonna take care of you. You don't need ever need to go back to the hellhole of a life you had. You’re not going to be living alone and if you don’t want to work at the stupid corrupt police station with those sleazebags you don’t have to.”

“I can’t- can’t believe Bull is gone. He took care of me Fi when nobody else did, not even my own father,” she bawls and I gather her into my arms rocking her as the tears flood through. I wish for nothing back. I did what I did, no regrets. Lily’s gonna be fine.

“Hey, hey now.”

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