“Breather?”
“No, I gotta finish what I have to say.”
“I was like a piece of meat to them. I got into this routine and taught myself never to feel. I was like a robot, and it became clockwork. I made up stories in my head to escape the pain. I forced myself to go to another place in my mind. I let the captors think I was starting to be okay with it, but I kept getting angrier and angrier every time I was raped. They let me out of the dungeon sometimes, and every time I got to be in the warehouse part, I started noting my surroundings for the next time.” Fi snatches up the Jack from me, throwing it back. I let her take the pace of the conversation. This is her story. I watch her gulp it down and regain her strength. “One day, all of them were sitting around drinking, and they didn’t hear me sneak up. All of them drove trucks for a living. A lot of the customers were truckers and the others I don’t know, and I don’t give a fuck who they were. I poured kerosene on their heads and the matches I found and stowed away. I lit their asses all the way up. I fucking threw that fire at them! That was the best day of my life. Hearing them scream like little bitches. That’s the same thing you and me are gonna do to Bull.”
“Hell yeah.”
“My father took the blame. He didn’t think nothing of it when the cops came. He said he did it, and he went right in the slammer. I did too for a little bit until my father convinced the jury he was the one solely responsible for those men’s deaths. I tried to stop him. I was willing to wear it. The satisfaction of knowing those men couldn’t hurt any more women was enough for me to hang my hat on.”
“This is- wow, shit - overwhelming Fi. You’re even stronger than I ever thought you were.”
“Huh. Strong? I would do anything to go back to that day at the mall and have my father back. The day Bull killed him was the first time I’d seen him in four years. First, they locked me up, then him, and now he's dead.”
“Baby, I'm so sorry. What about your mom?”
“Ha, Mom! What Nix didn't tell you about her?”
“He never wanted to talk about his personal life. It was rare. I couldn’t get much out of him.”
“She couldn't take it. She was broken and couldn’t take the stress of not being able to find me. She killed a bottle of Oxy, then it killed her. That’s the sad sorry end to that.”
“You’ve lost so much Fi. This is sick. Those men were sick. Shit. I can’t bitch about nothing. You’re one of the strongest, most resilient women I’ve ever met. I don’t know how you’re still alive after it all.” I drop a kiss on her temple. It’s small fry compared to what she’s been through. Fi swung back to having that fire in her eyes.
“He’s the only family I had left, and Bull took that away from me for no fucking reason!” She screams. “He put the bullet right between his eyes. Me and my father were having the best day. The best, you hear me Slash! He stole the last of my happiness away from me. He’s gonna pay. Oh baby, is he going to pay… I’m going to burn his flesh and dance all over the fire grave I build for him. You with me?”
“You know I am.”
Chapter Five: Picadors
Fiona
“Two days. You got two days, Slash, to convince that sucker that there’s a deal to look at. Can you do it? I can keep Lily occupied if you can get a handle on Bull.”
“I can’t stand his old ass face, but I can do it. It’s the big picture we’re looking at. I gotta lie low around the guys. I have this feeling they suspect I’m up to something. I gotta keep it real easy.”
I feel lighter with Slash. He knows the real story. The one I barely tell anyone. It’s one I’ve trapped inside a basement of myself for years. It’s been waiting to come out of the trapdoor. I’m smoking a joint and the fire’s jumping around in my stomach. I’m about to do what I love to do.Burn filthy scoundrel men alive.
“You got Snatch sniffing around you. He’s watching.”
Slash bends to me, glossing his fleshy lips over mine. “Babe, I know. I see him, but he’s not gonna know nothing. We haven’t had a Church session in a couple of days. I’m staying away from him and he’s staying away from me. I got Snatch under control.”
“Okay. I got that can of kerosene, and I got the matches. We gotta make sure he burns to a crisp. Black charred ashes are on the menu for him. We have to be right on the cusp of the border. I asked Izzy-”
“You asked Izzy? What the fuck happened to not tell anyone about anything?”
“Nah, nah. I asked her about how she got across the border. Got her to describe it to me. Had nothing to do about that. I wanted to know where the points were.”
“You didn’t have to ask her that. I know already. We had to overshoot past there when we went to the Savage Outlaws stash house. I got the route mapped out in my head. I know two guys that I was in the pen with that have a trap house close by there. They don’t work out of it anymore. They got busted. It’s a derelict site, and it’s close to the county tip out there. Nobody is going to hear that bitch scream except us. Bull’s gonna go for it because he’s a greedy son of a bitch. He would cut a deal to kill his own mother if he had to.”
Every man has a weak chink in his armor and Bull’s was Lily’s. I let the weed smoke hit the air, remembering the confidential conversation we had.
“He thinks I remind him of his dead wife. He was an asshole at first, like you said, but he’s, my asshole. Since then, he has been good to me. He treats me like gold. I don’t know how to explain it when he’s with me. It’s like a big puppy dog. He’ll give me whatever I want if I ask for it.”
“It’s fine. I’m your eyes and ears. Maybe there’s something you might forget. This is a team effort, and we both gotta be on our game.” I’m aware my voice is coming across cold, but I can’t have one wrong step from Slash. His head has to be in the game like mine is.
“Appreciate you baby. Let go get this shit done and go to work on him.”
“Good luck.” I give him a pep talk kiss that’s gonna have him thinking for a long while later and step inside. My eyes fall right to the man that stole my last breath of happiness.