Page 16 of Ruthless Malice

“Are you serious? What’s happened to you?”

“If I tell you, you won’t believe me. I still have nightmares about it.”

I feel a kinship to Fiona and want to hear what she has to say. I’ve never gone into depth with her on too much, and from her baby face I can tell she’s way younger than me. I wait patiently for her to speak, somehow knowing she needs to take it at her own pace.

“I wish I knew you when I was thirteen,” she said sorrowfully.

“Why?”

“I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me. That’s not what this story is about. It’s just to tell you we all got a story here and for us women, it usually involves a man. I was trafficked when I was thirteen and kept in a dungeon. To this day I can’t be in dark, enclosed spaces, otherwise I freak the fuck out.”

Nausea sweeps over me as the word “trafficked” flows out of her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe it! That shit is happening in Serenity?” I wave my hand at her. “Scratch that. I’ve seen cases, but to meet a victim, I’m… I’m disgusted.”

Fiona shrugs, but there’s pain behind her eyes. “Can’t do anything about the past now. I have to move forward. My point is that I’m still here. You’re in the booth with me and we’re alive.”

“That’s true,” I say, thinking it through. “I walked by and Slash was talking. He said that Bull told him that I was leverage—meat so he could get me to hand over intel from the police department. It’s probably the truth, but it hurts. I should have kept my legs shut.”

“Can’t help who you like.” Fiona’s slim shoulders shrug. “I think it’s deeper with you and Bull, otherwise he would have kicked you out by now.”

Slash swaggers over and sits down in the booth. “Am I interrupting some heavy girl talk?” His mop of chocolate hair flops in his eyes, but he rakes it out, waiting for our answer.

It’s my turn to shrug. “I don’t mind. I was telling Fiona about Bull. You know I overheard what you guys said about me in the Church meeting.” I almost can’t believe I just came out and said it, but I find I don’t regret the confrontation.

“Oh, that.” Slash dips his head to the table in dead silence. He looks up with a drab smile, then back down to the table. “Shitty thing to overhear. I’m sorry about that, and I don’t want that to be how you think all the club feels about you, Lily. You came through for us. You showed that you’re willing to help us out. It’s not something I’m about to forget in a hurry.”

“It’s nothing. I wanted to help. Being a police dispatcher is not my life goal. It’s something my father wanted me to do.”

“What doyouwant to do?”

I stare back vacantly at him. “Nobody’s thought to ask me that question. I have no idea. I was sheltered and locked away without the key, literally. I guess I’ll work it out along the way.”

“Yeah, I’m confident you will. You’re very intelligent. So, what did Bull say to you?”

“He didn’t. I didn’t give him the chance to explain himself. You said enough at the meeting. That was it for me,” I explained.

“Sorry, if I knew you were standing there, I wouldn’t have said those things.” Slash ruffled up his mop of hair again.

“I don’t think you should be sorry at all. If that’s how Bull saw me, then what else is there to say?” I said glumly.

“Bullshit is what’s been coming out of his mouth lately. I gotta admit I didn’t trust you being in here. You gotta understand why, Lily. You’re a cop in a motorcycle club, and that piece of trash Sheriff Hunter is running with our enemy.”

“I know… it’s not anything to do with that. I don’t wanna work there. I told Fiona this. For a long time, I have been living on my own. My father pushed me into the cop world. That whole department is full of gross people.”

“Do you haveanyfriends there, Lily?” Fiona asked.

“I wouldn’t call anyone in that branch a friend. I get hit on every other day. I gotta quit. I feel stupid for believing in Bull. He’s probably got a bunch of women on his dick. He’s older than me.”

Slash sneers, and my shoulders fold in. I thought he might have been laughing at me, but he isn’t. “That old man?” He thumbs behind himself. “Nope. Bull is not knocking them down like that. Trust me.”

“Okay, I’m just-”

“Listen, I hate that motherfucker. He’s a conniving fuck. But you flipped the script. There’s something different about him. At first, he wanted to use you as leverage, then suddenly, he changed his tune. He wouldn’t even consider coming to you for help with the matter. That’s probably the first time in my life that I’ve seen Bullnotsnatch the opportunity when it presents itself. I don’t know what you did to him but keep doing that.”

I hear what Slash is saying and part of the nausea has dissolved, but I still have so many doubts whirring around in my brain. The way he walked out, what was said at the meeting, the pressure to give him the information for the tapes. I’m back to how I felt at the start—should I go? Should I stay? He’s more experienced, he’s gone to war. Slash says he’s manipulative. I’m losing myself in it all.Did I ever really have myself, though?

“You look like you could use a drink. You want one?”

“No. I think I should go home or something. I have to sleep it off. I don’t even know what to say.” I skim my hands over the table a few times, not knowing where to put them.

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