Page 8 of Date and Switch

“I saw that huff and the eye roll, mister. You’ll thank me at the end of the trip that I did such a fantastic job documenting it. Your sister-in-law set me up with a nice little stream of income from the radio station just for posting pictures on our new DateAndSwitch Instagram profile. Get it… Date … and switch? Because first you dated one Sarah and now switch!”

Sera was so proud of her new role as our official traveloguer. Tillie had come to me and asked if I minded if she documented our trip. Not only would it be good for their ratings, she’d said upfront, but apparently Sera asked her if the station paid people for being interviewed because she was worried about having enough money while we traveled. I certainly hadn’t agreed to our partnership with any expectation of payment from her, but that it was top of mind for her charmed me, in a weird way. Tillie got her set up on the company payroll and she’d be receiving regular paychecks while we were at sea so long as she kept our new Instagram up to date and posted on the radio station’s new blog, they had set up for the two of us.

“Okay, I’m gonna go live, so at least look excited.”

She twisted in her seat to give me the once over, brushing her hand down my fleece to smooth out the wrinkles. I felt a jolt of connection through my whole bloodstream. The unfettered access to my personhood in her weirdly casual way set me on edge. As if we were actually a couple who shared an intimate history.

“Don’t do that.”

I didn’t mean to snap but the shock of her touch and how normal it felt threw me. Maybe because the last person to touch me in such a way was Sarah. My brain needed to stop melding the two Sera’s together.

“Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Her face morphed into a deep crimson, the arm that held her phone fell into her lap.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Forty-five minutes and already I made her want to cry. I prayed this trip wouldn’t be to be the stupidest decision I’d made.

“It’s just.” I heaved a sigh and tried to rub the tension out of my forehead. “We’re practically strangers. This whirlwind of interviews, having the same name as my last—well, you know. It feels like a slippery slope. I don’t want to fall into a trap where we’re buying into a fairy tale that doesn’t exist. This is strictly professional. A business transaction if you will. As if this is a job and we’re work colleagues on a business trip.”

She nodded, seeming to be mulling over what I said.

“I like it.” She extended her hand to shake on it. Once we did, the apples of her cheeks returned to their normal peach hue, and her eyes once again glinted with excitement.

“All right then dear coworker, let’s go live! Just follow my lead, don’t be nervous.”

I could have told her my responsibilities included being the face of Ellis Enterprises. That given I spoke in front of large crowds regularly it was pretty hard to make me nervous. She took her role so seriously though; and I couldn’t help but play along.

“Hey everyone! It’s Sera and Bryce! We’re here at Logan International at the ass crack of dawn ready to board our flight to Miami. And check this out!” She flipped the view on her camera so that she could scan the First Class Lounge we’d been waiting in. “Call me Booooojay with a capital B. A little champs, some fresh cut fruit, a yogurt parfait. Beats standing in line for a McDouble am I right? Bryce doesn’t look nearly as impressed as I am, but he assures me he can’t wait to board and get this show on the road. I heard tonight there is a fancy pants dinner with the captain. We’re gonna be smokin hot. Tell me Bryce, are you a dancer? Did you pack your dancing shoes?”

I hated those stupid all-cruise balls. The thought of standing in line for ninety minutes to shake hands with the captain who probably just wanted to get back to his room, put some slippers on and watch whatever movie was on cabin entertainment, had me fighting not to roll my eyes knowing we were still “live.”

“I’ve been known to do a little cha cha slide when properly motivated to do so.”

My brother and I both had what my mother called the signature Ellis smirk. Over the years, we’d used it to our advantage. Our ace in the hole, so to speak, in a game of five card stud. I could tell from the sharp inhale and the smallest break in her bubbly, extroverted monologue that Sera was not inoculated against its charm. Information to file away for future knowledge and use.

“Well ladies and gents prepare to be very entertained later tonight. Look for our next live from the ship!”

She hit the “end live” button and turned to me, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed.

“Oh my god that is so much harder than I thought it was going to be! I was so nervous. Were you nervous? You didn’t seem nervous like at all. Did you see how many people were watching it? It said a hundred and fifty! Can you believe it? I feel like we need a name other than Bryce and Sera. A combo of both our names. You know like the celebrities. Brera or Sryce? Nothing sounds like a name though.”

“It was great.” I smiled at her, flipping closed my iPad and packing my personal items back in my carry on. “They’re calling us to board.”

I stood and extended my hand to her before catching myself. It was me who told her to keep things professional, yet here I was holding out my hand like some lovesick teenager. As if that gesture laid claim in front of the other men in the room. As if she were mine to claim. But she wasn’t. She was the woman whom I agreed to go on vacation with. Nothing more.

six

I’d never flown first class before. Other than a girl’s getaway for college spring break, I’d never been out of the country. And certainly not to actual cultured places that didn’t offer all you can drink Margaritas and bottomless nachos.

I wish the flight had been longer, and not at seven fifteen in the morning. Between the breakfast mimosa at the airport and then the welcome mimosa when we boarded, I was lights out ten minutes into the flight. There was a ninety percent chance I’d also drooled on Bryce’s shoulder.

White glove service was where it was at. I’d been tempted to document it all but thought better of it. I didn’t want to broadcast that Bryce Ellis obviously had some hard-core bank.

I boarded the ship with zero expectations. I’d never cruised before. Thanks to the Bryce Ellis experience, we didn’t even have to wait in the long lines at the dock. Our escort took us straight from the airport directly on to the ship. We were processed in our suite. Less than five hours into the trip and I already felt bad for poor normal Sera who would eventually turn back into a pumpkin.

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Date & Switch Blog: Day 1

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