Page 3 of Date and Switch

There was a bite mark.

On her breast.

“I see Paul likes it rough.”

She didn’t reply but the shock in her eyes said everything I needed to know.

Eventually after the denial and the tears, there was vitriol. I was too career focused. Passionless. Having sex with me was like fucking a robot. Her vibrator and a fresh charge did things better than I did. I didn’t see her for her. It went several rounds, and eventually after hours of fighting that left me feeling weak and raw, I asked her to leave.

one

I owned the townhouse on Marlborough Street. Sarah moved in with me once we’d gotten to that point in our relationship. It shouldn’t look so empty. Nearly all of the furniture remained. She didn’t take much. A few pictures and a piece or two. Most of the house was unchanged. Except the bed. I bought a new one of those the morning after I asked her to leave.

“Thank god we never got around to getting that dog.”

Penn lay sprawled across my sofa watching football. We’d practically become one with leather. Our drinking began at morning kickoff, and we were well into Sunday Night Football territory.

He and Tillie closed on their New York condo now that they officially resided in Chicago. Tillie headed back to Chicago, Penn came and hung out with me in Boston. We were supposed to discuss our hotel territories since he no longer lived on the east coast. That was work shit though. We didn’t talk work on Sundays. Even if we were gearing up to expand Ellis into Europe and had a million details to discuss.

“I’m really sorry I suggested you do something crazy.” He accepted the beer I handed him, taking a long drink before continuing, “You’re definitely not the wild and crazy type. I should have told you to—I don’t know—send her a thousand yellow daisies and litter the house with them. Something low risk.”

I bought the cruise. He bared zero responsibility for that move. It would have been a once in a lifetime kind of trip and seemed to be the perfect gift.

“Well, finding out Sarah lived a totally separate life while I was away on business was worth the hundred and twenty grand I’ll lose on those tickets.”

She insisted they never fucked without a condom, but I didn’t believe it. I’d be testing every month to make sure he didn’t pass something to me. Even with that and losing the equivalent value of a small house to the wasted vacation, I still preferred knowing now before I’d put my name on anything legally binding. Sure STDs would be a gift that kept on giving, but so was alimony.

“Why not go anyway?” Penn asked, waking up his iPad to tap something onto it. “When’s the last time you took a vacation?”

“A vacation and a seven-month trip around the world are vastly different and you know it.”

“You were going to do it when Sarah was in the picture.”

I could see he knew he stepped in shit. While he hid that knowledge behind a deep pull from his bottle, he couldn’t hide how his eyes rounded and practically doubled in size when he mentioned her name.

“Yes, but that was different.”

Going alone would be depressing as fuck. If I did somehow break down and follow his advice, I’d more than likely bury myself in work the whole trip. Which was exactly what I’d been doing since our break up.

“What if you found someone to go with you?”

My Instagram feed was full of happy fucking couples. I’d gone from the serial dater in my twenties to facing life alone in my forties. Even my younger brother was married now. Most of my friends had one if not two kids. Some of those kids were starting for finishing college. Like that wasn’t a kick in the nuts.

“Do you know another Sarah Miller of Boston, Massachusetts?”

Now that the haze of Penn’s wedding and the persistent desire to feel the same kind of love they did had begun to wear off, I had a bit of clarity. Purchasing non-refundable tickets definitely hadn’t been wise. Nor was declining the proffered travel insurance.

“According to Google there are seven hundred and two in Massachusetts, surely one of them is single.”

I snatched his iPad out of his hand, swiping down the very long list of various Google hits for Sarah Miller’s. His search was just Sarah without the h. The number surely would catapult into the thousands with the two combined. Not that I considered Penn’s crackpot scheme. My brain told my face under no circumstance would I be interested in something so crazy. My brain forgot to give my mouth the memo.

“Am I supposed to email every single one of them? That would be the most pitiful email known to man. Hi I’m Bryce. I broke up with my girlfriend. Her name was Sarah Miller. Oh hey so is yours. Wanna come on a vacation with me? I promise the fact that we’ll be at sea with minimum access to communication shouldn’t creep you out at all. I swear I’m completely normal and you definitely won’t wind up on a true crime podcast entitled: Love Overboard.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought that through just a little too much for my personal comfort.”

The comment earned him a throw pillow to his head.

“Hear me out though.” He wiped the beer running down his chin on the hem of his T-shirt before continuing. “You don’t need to email them. We’ll throw it up on TikTok. Tell the world what Sarah two timer did, and explain you have an extra ticket you don’t want to go to waste. In the spirit of giving offer a free trip to someone who could use some time away. You’re staying in a suite. Beds can be separated. Sure you’re sharing the room and the bathroom is smaller than New York City closet, but for the most part you and the new Sarah Miller can exist in your own orbits.”

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