Page 31 of Date and Switch

“Is that all you plan to wear out there?” Bryce pointed his gloved hand towards our balcony and the icy tundra beyond.

“I have gloves inside the pockets of my jacket. Same with a hat, a scarf, that protective face goop they suggested we purchase to prevent wind burn and frost bite. I’m ready to brave the great wild beyond. I just don’t need to put it all on now, while we’re standing in our heated cabin.”

Our morning consisted of riding in the tiniest rubber raft, called a zodiac, around the various islands of Antarctica. There truly isn’t a word in the dictionary that feels enough to describe that experience. It was blissful and serene, while also scary as hell and freezing. There were an abundance of penguins and seals everywhere. But it was the whales I hadn’t expected to be within spitting distance. While we sat in our tiny rubber boat the size of its eyeball. I balanced in this in-between space of total awe and flirting with panic.

After some time to warm up, we were collected and led to a smallish ship to take us all through the Gerlache Straight. It was shades of blue which had no definition. Almost as if a blue slushie were thrown into the air, and it froze mid-throw into an ice tunnel.

“I was planning to propose.”

Bryce had been pretty quiet all day, but I assumed he teetered on the edge of awe and fear like I had.

“Here, in Antarctica. At the observation point they’re taking us to. A place barely touched by man. Where many will never travel. She’d be unique. I wanted her to feel as special as I thought she was.”

I pushed my arm through his while we stood at one of the observation windows at the vast blue surrounding us.

“Not to kind of take a shit on an already bleak situation, but it’s cold AF. I’m not sure how romantic a proposal it would have been. Her hand would literally freeze if she took off her glove and put a ring on it. Or oh my god, even worse! Could you imagine if your fingers were so cold you dropped the ring? And it’s shiny! How would you see it with all the ice?”

I tried to keep a tight rein on my voice to keep it steady. I wanted the conversation to stay light. It must hurt like hell to visit a place where he thought his new life was about to begin.

“A million points for creativity and originality.” I smiled up at him and wrapped my arm around his bicep. “You lost points from the eastern European judges for your lack of consideration of the technical execution.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Jesus Christ. You’re too much.”

We stood in silent sentry while we continued to pass through the frozen slushie. As we arrived at the observation and got in line to go outside, he pulled me—my back to his front—and rested his chin on my head. “Thank you. Even in cold desolation, you find a way to bring in the sunshine.”

twenty-one

I’d expected to feel like there was a storm cloud hanging over me during our time in Antarctica. Where I’d expected a full tsunami of emotion, however, was more of a quiet ice storm. One that passed pretty quickly. I would be completely daft to not realize that Sera’s sunshine worked to thaw the ice away.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to be warm again!” Sera bounced on her toes, shifting from side to side. “I feel like a snowman!”

Boarding the ship and getting through security went at Mach speed. Clearly everyone had the same sentiment. The heaters blew at full power over the security stations and up through the lobby and reception areas where the crew greeted everyone with hot chocolate.

“Skip the cocoa,” I whispered in Sera’s ear, steering her towards the elevators by the shoulders, “If we hustle, we can claim a hot tub in the spa while they all wait for their cocoa to warm them up.”

“Earl Ellis, I like the way you think!”

We found a break in the herd and beelined to the first set of open elevators we could find. I’d say we probably broke the land speed record for hustling to our room, tossing aside our clothes, grabbing our bathing suits, and sprinting up two floors to the spa. As I expected, not a soul had made it up to the welcoming warmth of the heated pools.

“Shiiiit.”

Sera sank into the water all the way up to her chin, tilting her head back in ecstasy while the water started to work its magic. That look and the throatiness in her voice were quickly become my favorite look and sound. I followed her into the water, also unable to stifle the groan when the warm water hit my frigid skin.

“Here…shared body warmth.”

I pulled her toward me and took a seat on the underwater bench.

“You’re so soft and lush.” I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her flush against me. When I held her like that, heartbeat to heartbeat, something inside of me quieted.

“When I hold you like this,” I told her, needing her to know how important her presence had been, “my whole being goes quiet. When we’re like this…I don’t hurt as much.”

She locked eyes with me, making a study of my features. I watched her eyes shift as she took a sweep of my face. Her hand caressing my hair before cradling my jaw. A wave of tenderness choked the breath out of me.

“I wish there was more I could do,” she said, running her fingers through my slowly developing five o’clock shadow. “I don’t like seeing you hurting.”

“I feel like a failure.”

The truth of that confession burst deep within me. Like a festering pustule, the infection could finally be eradicated with a little TLC. The depth of emotion rounding Sera’s eyes and furrowing her eyebrows was the salve I needed, especially after today.

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