Page 11 of Independence Bae

His voice caught; he went in for a greedy pull off his beer. “I don’t know how to be a dad, Raven! I’ve literally had zero examples of good parenting. What the fuck can a piece of shit foster kid like me teach anyone about growing up or like becoming a good human being.”

I don’t know what hurt more, picturing him growing up as a foster kid being bounced around from house to house, or the knowledge that he thought so poorly of himself.

“Ted Tucker, you listen to me.” I punched him in his arm. “You are one of the good guys. Do you hear me? You have never been a piece of shit, Ted Tucker. You’re a survivor. The fact that you lived in foster care—it’s going to make you the very best parent. Because you know first-hand how important you’re going to be to that baby. That knowledge is going to motivate you to show up every day, ten times a day—a million times a day—because they’re going to need and depend on you. And if there is anything that Ted Tucker is, it’s that he’s a fucking rock for anyone he loves.”

He didn’t disagree, but he didn’t agree either. Logically I knew he needed to work things through on his own time and it wouldn’t be settled in one chat over a beer no matter how badly I wanted to take away all of that hurt and fear. I wanted him to see himself like I saw him.

“Remember the day we met?”

“You mean the day you elbowed your way into my Van Halen interview at the induction luncheon?”

“Oh please, Tucker.” I laughed, pinching his bicep. “Such a victim. Poor big radio guy couldn’t handle a little competition.”

“The point being I was literally in the middle of an interview with David Lee Roth and you just sit your ass down and start chatting as if we were best friends and so of course we would share the line of questioning.”

“And yet that power move tickled David Lee Roth to the point that he called his bestie over and suddenly we were chatting it up with David, Sammy Hagar, and Michael Anthony about the boycott, why Eddie wasn’t coming, and how they felt about being shunned by the Hall of Fame.”

“And so it began.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, ruffling my hair.

“Had it not been for the fact we did that interview at such a high visibility event, we may have never drawn the attention of the radio suits who thought we’d make a perfect morning show.”

Bear’s eyes glassed over with a faraway look. I assumed he was traveling down memory lane revisiting all of the stations and places we worked.

“Remember the day we got these?” I ask, twisting my arm to expose the monarch on the inside of my wrist. Like a rising sun, the memory lifted his downturn mouth and knit eyebrows, eliciting the first smile I’d seen since I sat down.

“It was such a thrill that day wasn’t it? Sitting in that fucking conference room with Leon and the suits at The Skull. Us at one end, Leon next to us, and all those corporate yes men all the way at the other end?”

“When Leon told them we would walk unless they paid us three mil each, I honestly thought I was going to shit my pants right there on their expensive executive leather chairs.” Ted chuckled and rubbed his chin.

“But they didn’t even blink at paying six million dollars just for the two of us to sit on our asses and talk about fucking music for four hours a day.”

“God I think we celebrated for three days straight.” I laugh thinking about the hotel party.

“The Plaza!” We say in unison, snickering.

We decided that with our ridiculously large soon to be paychecks that we’d host a blowout party in the most expensive suite in The Plaza. Unfortunately walking into The Plaza and requesting their top tier room with no notice tends to upset a hotel who likes to plan for important people’s arrivals and get the canapes set in advance. So instead of the Royal Suite we had to “settle” for the Penthouse. It was three bedrooms and slept eight. So us and some of our closest friends spent the weekend gorging ourselves on room service, clearing out the wet bars, and overall being a general nuisance to the most highbrow hotel in all of Manhattan.

“I’m pretty sure we’re still on their ‘do not book’ list.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it.”

“Ted, every great thing that has happened to us—happened by surprise. Neither of us were out searching for someone to co-host a morning show with. We were living our lives and then one day—boom! Instant best friend. Then we’re just jamming along trying to figure life out and shit and New York called and was like ‘so wanna play radio on the biggest rock station in the country?’ and boom there we were again. Sure we’ve had to muddle through some shit too—but every incredible thing that has happened, happened when we weren’t even expecting it to. Look at you and Marley. I know finding a girlfriend let alone a wife was not on your to do list—and suddenly there she was. Me and Penn? In what lifetime would I ever had thought that going on some work assignment to the middle of Pennsylvania would land me smack dab in front of the guy I fell in love with when I was a kid? And now Ted, more surprises. The best kind of surprises. That’s how I know that everything is going to turn out. In the very best ways. The guy who had to survive and claw through life in order to arrive at this very place? That guy deserves nothing but perfection. And fuck if I won’t be there the whole time making sure you get every good and wonderful thing that you deserve.”

“I love you Matilda O’Hara Alden.”

“Call me Matilda one more time and that fiancé of yours is gonna be a widow.” I ball my fist in mock indignation, winding up my uppercut. “Speaking of your fiancé, you need to tell her how you feel, Ted.”

“I know,” he sighed, clearing the rest of his drink, “I’m just afraid she’s going to think that my hesitation with being a dad is about her. The last thing I want to do is hurt her.”

“Ted, give her the chance to show up. You need to provide her with the space to hear your fears and the chance to quiet them. You do it for her, right? She’s probably freaking out too! You might be surprised by how much she may be freaking out as well.”

“But what about the contract?” he asks after a beat of silence.

“We’ll figure it out, Ted. I can’t imagine that having something this good delivered to us by the universe could possibly not work itself out in the end. It’s our turn, Ted. Our turn to have good things happen.”

Chapter Nine

It seemedsurreal to be in this gigantic city, with Raven, walking down the street toward the store that could potentially have my wedding dress.My wedding dress.To marry Ted. In less than a month.

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