Page 16 of Faithless

It was a sweet oblivion, yes, but did I really need it?

No.

I could have been happy, even with an angel who never loved me.

“Darling girl, have you ever looked in a mirror? And it doesn’t even matter what you look like. You could be a hag, and I’d still want you.” My throat closes over. “You’re an angel.”

Her head whips in my direction, and her glazed eyes grow focused and hard. “I’m not an angel.”

I sigh. “You are. You were an angel even when you crushed me. That’s why it hurt so much. I wasn’t losing an illusion. I was losing the real deal.”

Her jaw grows tight. “I’ve never been an angel.”

I speed the pace of my fingers and cover her mouth with my lips.

“Oh God,” she squeals after I pull away.

“You are,” I say. “The way you are with our children… The way you’re so soft and open. The way you care for them and for me… Even when you’re bitchy and snap at us, you never lose that openness. That kindness. Oh God, Whitney, you’re everything I always wanted. Please—”

I inhale a deep, shaky breath, and she sets her warm palm to my cheek. “You’ll never forgive me. You’re only saying all this because nostalgia is making you see me differently—”

“No.” I grab my rock-hard cock and position it at her entrance. One stroke tells me she’s slippery and ready. I shove into her in one hard thrust and groan.

“Oh fuck, my darling girl!” I release another groan that sounds almost like a growl. “I’ll never let you go. This is mine!”

She wiggles her hips against mine. “It’s not yours.”

I grab her by the throat, and her eyes grow wide. She gasps and smiles. “I’m not yours,” she repeats.

I squeeze her throat tighter, and she whimpers.

“You’ll always be mine.”

“No.” She pants as she grinds her hips into mine, and I could die at the pleasure of it.

“Fuck, you’re heaven. So hot and tight. No other man will ever know this again, do you hear me? No man but me.”

Her glazed eyes grow clear. An emotion fills them. It looks like sadness, but I can’t think about it now. If I want to keep her, I can only move forward. “Only one other man has ever known it. One other man besides you. Why can you not forget it when you’ve had hundreds…”

My mind drifts away. Where am I now? I can’t hear her talk about him. I can’t stand it. My mind immediately goes to…

No.

Don’t think about it.

Don’t think about her under him. Don’t think about her heat clenching around his cock like she’s clenching around mine right now. Don’t think about the loving stares she gave him, that she never gave me.

“Whore.” The word is out of my mouth before I’m able to stop it, and the change in her is immediate.

Fuck, she doesn’t want to play this way right now. She doesn’t want to let me take my anger out on her body. It doesn’t turn her on anymore. That’s what the divorce is for.

Why can’t I stop myself?

Why can’t I forgive my darling, faithless wife?

CHAPTER 8

Fifteen years prior

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