Page 82 of Purity

“I feel like the fact that I can’t get rid of it means something ominous. I was able to burn my letter to my future husband. I was able to end my friendship with the man I love. Why can’t I toss this ring?” I shake my head. “I think it’s a sign that I’m not ready to change. If I take Cole off hold, I’m going to make him my whole world again. I’ll make my needs secondary to his. Even if he’s changing, I’m scared that I won’t. I don’t think he ever meant for me to be submissive to him. I did it all on my own. What if I do it again?”

Vanessa stares at me for a moment, her dark brows drawing together. “That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

Mari’s eyes grow wide. She looks away and drops her gaze to the sand, as if giving us privacy.

I pin my sister with a glare. “Excuse me?”

She softens her voice. “Why are you being so black and white about this when you’ve probably told me a million times in just the last month that you don’t think in black and white anymore?”

An electrical current runs over my skin. Holy shit, she’s right. How am I still doing this without even realizing it?

I guess black-and-white thinking is my default when I’m afraid.

“You’re not deciding your whole future,” Vanessa says. “You’re not picking out who you’re going to be for the rest of your life. You’re choosing what you want right now, and you already know what you want.”

My throat grows too tight to speak. I swallow to ease it away. “I do.”

TWENTY-ONE

Cole

My arms feel leaden as I stuff the last few shirts from my bottom drawer into the cardboard box. It makes no sense that I’m so worn out after two hours of packing.

I thought I would love moving out of the guesthouse, since I’m constantly surrounded with reminders of her here, but clearing it all out leaves me somehow even more miserable, and I didn’t think it could be any worse.

This was home for a brief moment. The eighteen hours she spent in this house were the happiest of my life.

I may never feel that again.

There’s a knock at the door, and my stomach jolts.

It’s soft, just like her knock. But my mom’s knock is soft, too. Not like Livvy’s though. Oh God, I think it’s her.

As I rush to the door, I try hard to manage my expectations. It’s probably not her. I’m probably hearing things because I’m so desperate to see her.

When I open the door and find her beautiful smiling face, a dizziness settles over me. “It’s July!”

“It is July.” She smiles cheekily and looks to the side.

My pulse pounds like hammer against my throat. “Livvy, don’t fuck with me. Why are you here?”

When her eyes widen, I flinch. Jesus, why am I practically yelling in her face when she might be here to tell me she wants to be with me? I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. “Sorry, you just surprised me.”

She sets her soft hand on my arm, and I could die at the pleasure of it. “It’s okay,” she says. “I’ll spare you the suspense. I’m taking you off hold. I want to be with you.”

Everything grows heavy. The joyful misery that began five years ago has finally come to an end. I love her, and she’s mine.

I grab her so quickly that she shrieks. Maybe I’m acting like a madman, but I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. I lift her up high in the air and throw her over my shoulder.

“Oh my gosh,” she shouts. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you to my bedroom.”

She giggles. “I thought we were going to talk first.”

“We can talk later. I caught you. You’re mine now.”

I toss her roughly onto the bed, pulling off her clothes as I crawl on top of her. She’s grown bolder since the last time we did this, unzipping my jeans and pulling them off along with my boxers.

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