Page 75 of Purity

Jesus, does he really think I’m going to make a bet like that about my own mother? “How drunk are you?”

“Not drunk enough.”

“Do you even know Mom at all?”

He scowls. “It won’t be hard for her. She never loved me.”

Good God. What a melodramatic, self-serving view of their failed marriage. Do all men of his generation throw themselves pity parties when their wives finally grow weary enough of their bullshit to divorce them? Is this why divorce is so hard for them as a rule?

“So you’re implying that you love her?”

“I’ve always loved her.”

His answer comes so quickly, it makes irritation flare over my skin. I grit my teeth to fight the retort rising to my tongue. What crock of shit. “You had an interesting way of showing it.”

“I know I was a terrible husband, but we haven’t really been married. Not for a long time, at least.”

“Maybe you didn’t want to be, but you had a wife at home when you were fucking other women. And you have three kids who love her and didn’t want to see her hurting.”

He flinches. “I wish I hadn’t been so careless. What I did on that trip to Arizona is one of my biggest regrets. You shouldn’t have seen that.”

My pulse pounds like a drum in my ears. “You shouldn’t have done it.”

When he shuts his eyes, I take a deep breath. There’s no reason to rehash it all now. Their marriage is over. My mom is moving on.

“I suppose technically it was wrong.” His voice is much softer. “No matter what we agreed on.”

I jerk back, a prickle of foreboding running over my skin. “What are you talking about?”

He stands up and walks to my kitchen counter. When he picks up the bottle of whiskey, I open my mouth to tell him he’s had enough, but then he starts talking. The tone of his voice sends a ripple of alarm through me.

“I never should have married her.” The dreamy quality to his voice tells me he’s talking to himself. “She was so young, and I knew she was still in love with him. But I thought there was plenty of time for her love to grow. I couldn’t let her go. I practically bullied her into marrying me.” He shakes his head slowly. “I guess I got what I deserved.”

A cold shiver runs down my spine. “In love with who? And what do you mean you got what you deserved?”

He jerks back, his eyes growing focused. “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.”

“No.” My voice is hard. “You can’t drop hints like that and expect me to let it go. You deserved what? Did mom have an affair?”

He clenches his teeth. “You need to talk to her about it. All I’m going to say is that our marriage has been over for sixteen years. I was done, at least, but your mom wanted to keep our family together. She chose to stay married for you kids.”

“This is fucking insane!” I take both hands and run them through my hair, clinging tightly and sending tingles into my scalp. “Are you making this up to get sympathy?”

“No!” He scowls. “I neither want nor deserve your sympathy. She would have reconciled if I had initiated it, but I didn’t. I couldn’t forgive her, so I kept punishing her over and over again. I could see that it hurt her, and I liked it.”

“Dad, that’s so fucked up.”

“I know.”

“Who did she have an affair with?”

“Her ex-boyfriend.” His faint smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Her high school sweetheart. I would kill him right now if I had the chance, even after sixteen years.”

“Jesus Christ. I never even knew she had a boyfriend before you.”

He scoffs. “Have you seen your mom? If I hadn’t snatched her up, someone else would have, which is why I married her when I knew she wasn’t ready.”

My vision grows dazed, and I stare at the floor. How is it possible that I got everything wrong? I thought my mom was ignored and lonely. Fragile. I thought she was so close to breaking that I never wanted to burden her with anything, and it made me hate my dad.

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