Page 56 of Purity

“Are you always so commanding?”

I smile lazily. “That’s why I was afraid I’d scare you. I’m kind of…dominating during sex. I mean I don’t have to be, but I knew it would be hard to hold back with you when I’ve been imagining it for so long.” I wrap my arms around her shoulders. “I’ve dreamed about fucking you raw and rewarding you for taking it like a good girl.”

“And I love it. Like, really love it. I always thought I’d be too embarrassed to enjoy sex like that, but now I don’t think that at all. I think when it’s like that, it makes me feel way less nervous.”

My head grows heavy. I never thought she would be this way either. I thought she’d need me gentle and soft—how I usually am with her.

That fantasy. My God. “I’m not sure if you’re going to fuck me or hurt me, and for some reason, knowing it could be either one really turns me on.” I can’t believe this is who she’s been all these years inside that demure little exterior.

I lower my lips to hers and kiss her hard. “Come on. Let’s get you fed so I can get back to commanding you.”

Livvy

After deciding to get breakfast at a coffee shop near the wharf, we take a small trail down to the beach. The sun is high in the sky, and it brushes golden light over his face, making his brown eyes sparkle.

I’m in heaven, holding his big hand while we take a morning walk on the beach after spending the night with his arms wrapped around me. I never thought this would happen.

“I already got a text from Mariana,” I say, “and she’s never up this early. She wanted to know how last night went, but I feel like a text can’t do it justice.”

He grins. “I’m hoping I get a whole chapter in your prayer journal.”

“Chapter?” I smile. “Do you think I divide my journal by chapters?”

“I’ve never given journaling too much thought, except for yours. I can’t tell you how desperately I used to want to read it. I was tempted sometimes, especially when you brought it to school.”

Heat washes over my face. “What kind of high schooler brings her prayer journal to school? Oh man, how embarrassing. No wonder I’ve never been laid.”

He squeezes my hand as he pulls me away from the water, which is now only inches from hitting my shoes. “You won’t be able to say that soon, Angel. Maybe that’s what you should text Mariana. Say you’ll call her after you’ve been good and railed.”

My stomach flutters for a moment before it sinks. Cole must sense the change in my mood, because he turns to me with a questioning frown.

I swallow. “Do you know about the lie we made up for my parents about where I’m staying this week?”

“Um… Yeah, that you’re staying with Mari, or going on vacation with her or something?”

“It’s so elaborate and so stupid. The story we came up with is that we’re spending the week at her friend Brenna’s. We called it a weeklong slumber party. I’m not very close with Brenna, so my parents would never believe just I would go. And since my dad and Mari’s dad are really good friends, Mari is actually staying with Brenna this week just to corroborate my story.”

He nods slowly while licking his lips, and I can sense the direction of his thoughts. I’m a baby compared to him. He hardly even had to ask for his parents’ permission back in high school. His mom even allowed him to have girls sleep over, which was unfathomable to my innocent mind back then. It must seem outrageous that I’m still letting my parents control me at twenty-one years old.

“It’s ridiculous,” I say. “I’m a grown woman. I know that’s what you’re thinking, and it’s okay.”

“I wasn’t thinking that.”

“If you weren’t, you’re being way too forgiving of my flaws. It’s absurd, and it’s just one symptom of my whole problem. I’m only still living with my parents because I was too scared to go away for college like you did.”

The wind presses a dark strand of his hair against his forehead, and he brushes it away with his fingers. “It’s not like I went very far. I didn’t want to move too far away from you, which isn’t much different than wanting to stay close to family. And you’re saving money, which I didn’t have to think twice about.”

“Yeah, but I could have taken out loans if I really wanted the dorm experience, like Mari did her first year. Instead, I’ve lived basically the same life I lived in high school, even down to curfew and dating rules.” I glance up at him. “Do you know that if my dad caught us holding hands right now—just holding hands—he would expect you to ask his permission to date me?”

His brow furrows. “Do you need me to do it? I will if it’ll make things easier for you. Especially if you want to be able to go out in public this week without worrying about running into your family.”

“Absolutely not. It grosses me out that he even thinks it’s his permission to give. I can’t believe I used to buy into all of that. When I get home at the end of the week, I plan to tell my parents I was with you.”

He halts in place and pulls me around to face him, his expression probing and tender. “If you really need to tell him everything that’s going on, I can be there with you. You know, for support. I might have a hard time if he goes off on you—” he smiles faintly, “—but I’ll try not to beat him up.”

My chest fills with warmth. Goodness, just when I thought I couldn’t love him any more.

After jumping to my tiptoes, I wrap my arms around him. I pull myself up and plant a hard kiss on his cheek. “I would never put you through that kind of torture. Plus, if you were there, he would focus entirely on you, because that’s the way he sees things. It would be your fault for leading me astray and taking my purity, because he doesn’t see me as having my own sexual desires. He would think I was only trying to please you, and I want to take ownership of this whole thing. I’m done being submissive and weak.”

---