FIFTEEN
Cole
Her deep breath makes a little rumbling sound. She furrows her brow and rolls onto her stomach, mumbling softly. A smile rises to my lips. She roused herself from sleep with her own snore.
Now would be the perfect time to wake her up with a kiss, but I won’t do it. I’m just going to keep watching her, like the sap I’ve become over the past half hour I’ve been awake.
She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and it makes me want to weep.
Why do I feel this way? Why does seeing her lying here with her mouth open and that little furrow on her brow make my chest constrict so tightly that I can hardly take a breath, as if I’m mourning the loss of her when she’s as close as she’s ever been?
I’m in love with her.
I shut my eyes and roll to my back. That’s what this is. The deepest love and the deepest denial. Some part of me must have known all along that if I ever got this close to her, I wouldn’t be able to delude myself anymore.
Love is misery.
Even when it’s as beautiful as this—with her warm body next to mine as the morning sunlight creeps into the room.
Who knows what she feels for me or how long it will last?
I’m on the path to losing her forever, and there’s no getting off it now.
She stirs again, but this time, she turns onto her back, and her eyes start to creep open. When they focus on my face, a sleepy smile twinges her lips, and that ache in my chest grows sharper.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Morning?” Her voice is raspy from sleep.
“Yep.” I lift my hand and tuck a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “I think that orgasm wore you out.”
She blinks a few times. “I’m still a virgin.”
I laugh as I press a kiss on her cheek. “I guess by your purity standards, you are. You won’t be for much longer, but first, I want to take you somewhere.”
“Right now?”
I smile as I glance at the window. “Yep, and we need to go soon.”
A little while later, we’re walking up the hill at the edge of my parents’ property. It has the best view of the ocean, and even though we missed the sunrise—because it turns out my angel is a little sluggish in the morning—it’s still a beautiful sight. The sun is molten, casting an orange glow over the water.
I can’t believe I’m here with her. We’ve shared so much time together over the years, but never the morning, and there’s something hauntingly intimate about seeing her with her hair still a little mussed from sleep and her nose pink from the cold air.
“Wow,” Livvy says. “Do you wake up this early a lot?”
“I do not. I actually can’t remember the last time I was up this early.”
“This is a perfect spot for reflection. I wish I had my prayer journal—” her nose wrinkles as she stares out at the water, “—and maybe a bagel.”
“We didn’t have dinner last night.”
She takes a step forward and peeks back over her shoulder. “No, you ate me instead.”
My mouth drops open. “I think that’s maybe the filthiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” I yank her up against me and kiss her softly on the head. “What a good girl you are.”
She looks up at me, her eyes wide. “Is that always how you are? During sex, I mean?”
“Um… How?”