Page 50 of Purity

“Eat up, then. I don’t want you to be hungry tonight, not with what I have planned for you.”

“Okay.” Her voice is much fainter this time. Is that nervousness?

I grab one of her dresses and put it on a hanger. After setting it in the closet next to one of my shirts, a tingling sensation runs over my skin.

How am I ever going to let her leave here? How am I going to share a bed with her for a week and then let her walk out of here forever, taking this little dress out of my closet as she returns to her old life, to our regular friendship?

I’ll think about this later.

After I finish unpacking her things, I join her in the kitchen. When my gaze falls to her plate, I want to smile yet again. She’s barely even nibbled at her ziti, despite her supposed love of burnt cheese. “Livvy, if it’s inedible, you won’t hurt my feelings. We can find something on Grubhub.”

“No, it’s not that.” The shake of her head is jerky, and my gaze falls to her lap where her hands are pressed firmly together. Warmth washes over me when understanding dawns. I sit next to her and grab her hand. As expected, it’s stiff and damp. “You’re nervous.”

“Yeah.”

“What can I do?”

She scrapes at her top lip with her bottom teeth. “Can we talk a little bit? About what we’re going to do?”

Even as anxious as I am, my dick can’t help but stir at her words. It’s going to be difficult to talk about it without wanting to throw her over my shoulder and carry her into my bedroom, but I can do it. “Of course,” I rasp.

Her gaze falls to her lap. “I’m about to be really open and vulnerable right now, and you’re probably going to laugh, but I just need to say it.”

Tenderness squeezes my chest tightly. I scoot my chair closer to her, set my hand on her back, and run my fingers up and down the soft skin at the base of her neck. “I’m not going to laugh. I promise.”

“I have no idea what to do with a penis.”

I clench my jaw tightly, engaging all of my facial muscles to keep my expression blank. I hold my breath to keep the hovering laughter from bursting out. Oh God, that took me by surprise. I swallow and nod slowly.

“And I know you have low expectations because you know I have no experience. And you’ll be understanding if I don’t touch it right or move right or whatever, but the thing is, I’m very scared of things that are unfamiliar to me. I know this sounds really silly, but basically…I’m scared of your penis.”

My face is straining to keep my lips from twitching. I want to reassure her, but I’m afraid my voice might crack. I twirl my finger around a strand of hair at the back of her head. “That’s okay.” I speak very softly.

“Cole.” Her tone is scolding, though her lips quirk. “Just laugh, okay? I know you’re trying not to.”

“No, I’m not,” I say, but my lips are twitching now.

She rolls her eyes. “The fact that you’re not laughing is even more annoying.”

When my chest starts to vibrate, I avert my face from hers and cover my mouth. She hits me gently on the shoulder. “I hate you. You should have just laughed from the beginning.”

“I’m sorry.” My throat is tight. “I totally get what you were trying to say. It was just…the way you said it. ‘I’m scared of your penis’.”

“It’s the pathetic truth.”

My laughter fades. “It’s not pathetic. I’m glad you told me.”

“I had to tell you. I had to get it out of the way now, because I know in the heat of the moment, I’ll be too ashamed to admit it. I was hoping we could agree now that you’ll tell me exactly what I need to do. Like, spell it out to me. Maybe even show me. It might be unsexy, but it will make me so much less anxious.”

I reach out and grab her by the waist, and her eyes widen as I lift her up and set her in my lap. She smiles as she lifts her knees and snuggles against my chest. God, she’s so soft.

“I don’t want you to be anxious.” I brush my lips along her head. “And it’s not unsexy. I probably would have gotten better a lot sooner at making women come if I had just outright asked how they wanted me to touch them.”

“Did you used to be bad at sex?” Her voice is full of disbelief.

I lift a hand and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t think anyone is good at sex when they first start out. It takes a while to learn what you like, and how to give other people what they like.”

“That’s part of why I’m nervous. You have years more experience.”

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