Page 5 of Purity

“Okay, just make sure you find someone ruthless. Someone who will take him for all he’s got.”

Her posture straightens. “Well, since that would affect the company, and therefore you and your brother and sister, I won’t be doing that.”

Of course she won’t. She’s made it abundantly clear to me over the years how important it is to her that I take over Walker Industries someday, and given what she’s had to put up with from my dad, it’s the least I can do for her. Even though I dread having to work for him.

“Marriages are complicated,” she says. “Divorce is never just one person’s fault.”

I look away, my jaw clenching. Arguing with her will lead to a conversation I don’t want to have—to something she and I have only really discussed in code. The one time I tried to tell her the details of my dad’s infidelity, she didn’t want to hear it. She said she already knew.

God, how fucking sad.

I wish she knew her value. I wish she knew that she deserves to clean him out for everything he’s worth after what he’s put her through.

“Honey.”

When I glance up, my mom’s brows are furrowed. “Do you want to talk about what you’re feeling? I can tell that you’re really upset.”

“I’m fine.” The words are clipped.

“Okay.” Her voice is resigned. “I’ll give you your privacy. Don’t worry about setting up for the party. I already enlisted Mason to put out more lawn furniture. He doesn’t know anything yet about the divorce. I’m still trying to figure out how to tell him and Maddy. But I want you to take some time to yourself, okay? Relax before your party.”

I swallow to ease the tightness in my throat. “I’m honestly fine, Mom. It’s a long time coming, and I’m happy for you.”

She stares at me for a moment. “Well, if you’re ever not fine, just know you can talk to me about it.”

She walks away, and the world around me blurs. It’s really happening. They’re divorcing, and the world is shifting under my feet, just like it did years ago. Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be strong for my mom?

Fuck, there’s only one person who can make me feel anchored again.

I’ll tell Livvy the whole story, just like I always do when something is troubling me. She’ll stare at me with those soft brown eyes and that little furrow on her brow. She’ll say, “Oh Cole, I’m so sorry,” in that sweet, melodic voice and shyly ask if it would weird me out if she prayed for me. I’ll fight a smile and tell her no, that just because I’m not religious doesn’t mean I’m ruling out the possibility that God exists.

She’ll set her hand on my shoulder, which will send electricity down my arm. She’ll close her eyes and mouth words to herself—careful not to say them aloud because she probably doesn’t want to scare me with the strange jargon. And I’ll just watch her, relishing her closeness and warmth, absorbing all of her compassion and kindness by proximity.

In a perfect world, I could hold her afterward—pull her into my arms and press her soft body against mine. I’d trail my lips along her neck before taking a little bite of her pretty skin. Then I’d bury myself inside her and—

Fuck.

What am I doing?

The divorce must be throwing me off-kilter. These old fantasies only seem to surface when I’m at my most vulnerable. No matter how much they might provide a balm to my shitty mood, I can’t indulge them. I’ll never have that part of her, and even if I could, I wouldn’t want it. What I have with her is already perfect as it is.

Passion always fades eventually, but my friendship with Livvy is lifelong. I won’t do anything to jeopardize it.

I’ll want to kill any boyfriend she introduces me to, if that’s what she’s going to do tonight—mostly out of jealousy—but I’ll have to keep any animosity under the surface. She can never know.

This lingering attraction to her has never done me any good. I have to keep it in check.

THREE

Livvy

“Are you nervous?” Mari asks as we park on the stone-tile drive of Cole’s parents’ house.

I sigh. “I’m so nervous I feel like I have to pee, and I just peed right before we left.”

She chuckles as she unbuckles her seatbelt. “I’m pretty sure Cole is going to be as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning when you ask him, but I understand. It’s scary when you don’t know exactly how he feels.” She turns to me, her expression growing stern. “But you’re not going to pine over him if he says no. Be thankful he’s a hot guy, and hot guys have hot friends. If things go bad tonight, I already have a plan. I’m going to get you nice and drunk, and I’ll have your first make-out partner lined up and ready to go in no time.”

I smile sadly. “That’s sweet of you.”

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