Page 37 of Purity

“Nothing about you is gross,” he says.

Our gazes hold for a moment, and something flashes in his eyes, something that looks like defiance. “I could bury my head between your legs and never come out.”

He watches me for a moment, and then he smiles, his eyelids growing lazy. He looks like he wants to laugh at me.

“I would lick every part of you if I could. I mean it when I say every part. Not just your pussy.”

His words don’t compute at first. Where else could he lick me? When it dawns on me what he might mean, a flaming heat washes from my scalp to my chest. “Are you talking about… Would you lick my…?”

“Your ass? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. And I wouldn’t just lick it once. I could lick it for days.”

Goodness, I knew people did things like that, but it always seemed like an abstract concept. I never thought people I knew did it, or that someone would want to do it to me. And not just someone. Cole. My Cole.

When he laughs, I realize my eyes must be popping out of my skull, but I’m not weirded out. His words, though shocking, make heat curl in my belly.

“This is what I was trying to explain to you when you first asked me if I could do this. Not everyone likes the same things, and I know the things I like would scare you. You probably want a sweet, romantic first time with candles and music in the background. You’d want someone to be really slow and restrained with you, and I’d definitely try…” His eyes grow molten. “But I don’t know if I could.” His voice is deep and dark. “I’ve wanted you for five years. When you first told me you were planning to stay pure, all I could think was…how much I wanted to make you dirty.”

My stomach flips so hard I’m surprised I don’t hunch over. “Really?”

“Yep. Is that blasphemy?”

“No.” My voice is small. “I think I’d like it if you made me dirty.”

“You think.” His devilish smile tells me he doesn’t quite believe me. He lifts a hand and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “Think about it more over the next three days. I will too. Remember that it won’t be just sex. Not between you and me.”

Of course it won’t. Not when I love him from the pit of my soul.

He runs his fingers down my neck before settling his hand on my shoulder. “We shouldn’t be around each other while we think. I don’t even think we should text.”

My stomach plummets. He’s never ever asked for time away from me. Usually, he’s so demanding of my time. He practically called dibs on me during holiday breaks. He must really be tormented by this decision.

“I don’t like it either,” he says, caressing my shoulder with his thumb. “But it’s hard for me to think clearly about this when I’m around you, and this is a big deal to me. You’re a big deal to me.”

I nod slowly, unable to speak. He leans forward, hesitating for only the briefest moment before pressing his lips softly against mine.

TEN

Cole

I stretch my arms and legs out, relishing the softness of my bed. I’ve been awake for a while now, but I haven’t wanted to move. She hasn’t left my mind for even a second since I dropped her off last night.

She was sleeping here. Right where I am.

I can’t seem to stop thinking about the fact that she could be sleeping here now. If I had agreed two days ago, her head could’ve been resting on the pillow next to mine.

No. She wouldn’t be on the pillow next to mine, because I’d have her in my arms. I’d be able to touch her as much as I want. I wouldn’t have to hold myself back like I did last night, periodically peeking in the room, telling myself I was checking on her but really just wanting to look at her while she slept in my bed.

She’d be mine. I’d have just fucked her, and every curve of her body would already be familiar to me.

Oh, fuck.

I’m going to do it.

Somehow, all of my reservations disappeared during the night. I know they’re there deep down, prickling at the back of my consciousness, but I hardly even feel their effects anymore. Euphoria is drowning out all of my anxiety.

In three days, I’ll have her.

A soft knock sounds on my front door, and a prickle of foreboding punctures through my elation. That was my mom’s knock, and she never disturbs me in the morning after I’ve been out with my friends. Not this early.

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