Page 72 of Wild and Bright

I refuse to feel this way.

I refuse to gobble up his crumbs of affection. Impulsively, I unbuckle my belt and launch from my seat.

“Where are you going?” The apprehension in his voice is a balm to my frazzled, insecure nerves.

“To pee. And then I’m going to sit by Hunter.”

“Don’t do that. You’ll have to trade seats with Jeff. He’ll want to talk. I don’t feel like making conversation right now.”

“Well, I do feel like making conversation. With someone who’s not going to ask me to stop talking.”

As I start to walk, he grabs my wrist. When I look back at him, his eyes are pleading. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick. Don’t ditch me, please. I like having you next to me, even when we aren’t talking.” His brows draw together. “You calm me.”

I fight the warmth rising to my chest. “I think you mean especially when I’m not talking…with my nasally voice.”

He flinches. “I’m really sorry I said that. You can talk all you want. I like hearing you talk, even when I need to work.” He stares at me for a beat. “Please stay with me.”

The desperation in his voice tugs at me, but I can’t give in after I’ve worked so hard to resist him. I smile softly. “I just want to hang out with Hunter for a little bit, and then I’ll come right back.”

His jaw stiffens, but he nods.

After peeing in the cramped bathroom, I make my way to Hunter. He glances up from his phone, his golden-brown eyes lighting up. “You need a break?” He turns to Jeff, who has his eyes shut. “Can you do Lauren and me a favor and go sit by Mr. Sunshine?”

Jeff’s eyes pop open. He glances at me and then back at Hunter, and then his whole face falls. “He won’t like that. He’ll feel like I took Lauren away from him, and he’ll take it out on me.”

“Well, Lauren’s put in her time, and she needs a break. It’s your turn. Keep napping, and he’ll be happy.”

“No, he won’t. He’s going to be an asshole to me for the next three days. At least,” Jeff says.

Hunter frowns. “How is that any different than normal?”

“I already told him I’m forcing you to switch. He knows it’s my fault.” I pout. “Can you do this for me? We have a few hours at the hotel before rehearsal. That gives me enough time to make him forget all about it.” I wink.

Jeff groans as he unbuckles his seatbelt. “If he’s still an asshole tonight, I’m blaming you, Lauren.”

As Jeff starts plodding down the aisle, I glance back at Cam, and even though I can barely see his expression as he stares at his phone, I can feel his annoyance all the way from over here. It’s almost satisfying.

I plop on the seat next to Hunter. “Does it suck having to fly and not being able to drink?”

He smiles faintly. “It does, but I’m getting used to it. I used to get so hammered on our flights—especially when they were international. I’d be so wrecked afterward, I couldn’t perform without muscle relaxers, which made my hands sluggish, so I used to play pretty shittily. Cam hated it.”

My brow furrows. “He says he doesn’t drink when he’s around you.”

Hunter’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Isn’t he so responsible? What a great guy.”

I glare at him. “He is a great guy. What the fuck is this? Why are you so mad at him all the time?”

He rolls his eyes. “Because he isn’t not drinking because he loves me. He thinks by being a self-righteous prick, he can shame me into never relapsing again.”

I can’t only stare at him, stunned by the venom behind his words.

Hunter rolls his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I love him to death. I’m just done with his bullshit.” His jaw grows hard. “I won’t put up with it anymore.”

I set my hand on his. “I know he can be tough with his controlling ways, but it never used to bother you this much. You used to joke about it. What’s changed between you guys?”

He shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know. I’ve been seeing things differently since I’ve been sober this time around. I realized something when he cancelled the tour. He didn’t let me have any part in that decision. He wouldn’t even hear me out.” His jaw hardens. “He loves me, but he doesn’t respect me, and I’m fucking sick of it. You of all people should understand.”

“Are you saying he loves but doesn’t respect me?”