Page 131 of Shattered Vows

“I don’t think it has to be painful for anyone. Why do you think this is such a bad idea?”

“Well, for one, it’s not sustainable. I’ll be gone in two months and so will you. I don’t want to get attached to her if I’m not going to keep her. I’m already attached.”

He pulled his tie from neck, set it on the counter, slipped off his shoes, and went to the refrigerator like I was the kind of wife who’d made him dinner.

“I didn’t eat dinner so there’s no meal in there. Are you listening to me?”

“I ate already.” He chuckled like he knew I was never going to attempt to cook him food. He was probably right. “And I’m listening. I just think we should calm down and discuss this rather than spiral into you talking twenty times your normal speed and us going off the deep end again.”

I sighed and tried placing a hand on my stomach, hoping the reiki technique would work. “Do you want a night shake?” I could actually use one and it would calm us both to have me doing something with my restless mind.

“Sure.” He nodded and sat at the counter, watching me pull ingredients from the refrigerator.

A state of the art blender lived in the corner cabinet and I liked how quickly it blended ice. I added ingredients and fruit as I waited for Bastian to say something.

“Let’s start at the beginning, huh? We should probably discuss the other night because I don’t see how,ragazza, but we’ve both woven our way under one another’s skin.”

I scoffed. “I know how. We had to spend a couple months together after we had a one night stand on a jet. This has been the longest morning after–”

“We’re not an extended one night stand. You’re truly my wife. I care about you. I stay up at night in my room considering dragging you to mine.”

I hit the blend button harder than necessary and grumbled, “I wish you would.”

When I turned it off and poured the ingredients into two glasses, he murmured, “This is our problem.”

I set the glass in front of him. “What’s the problem, Bastian?”

“You say things like that, like you think they don’t affect me, like you think I’m immune to you.”

“Aren’t you though?”

“Are you saying I’m just indulging myself with you?”

“Why weren’t you here the last three days?”

“Because I was working.”

“That’s it? Or were you creating distance after you indulged with me again?”

“I want this to be fair for you, Morina.” He sighed and his jaw ticked.

I rolled my eyes. Fair wasn’t any of this. Fair would have been me on another planet than him, because here with him, I couldn’t deny myself. “I’m selling you the shares because I want to, not because you’ve coerced me to have feelings for you. And I actually take offense to it that you think I can’t separate the two at this point.”

“I never said that–”

“Oh, whatever.” I picked up my shake, took a taste, and slammed it back down on the counter. I was barreling toward insanity at lightning speed and the thunder about to roll out of me would be just as crazy. “So, we’re going forward with legal separation then? It’s probably time we start pushing that to the media. We’ve had a few days away from each other and I’m guessing you were creating distance for that reason. Let’s plan the rest.”

The words flowed out of me like I’d struck a match and dropped it on a line of kerosene. It spread like wildfire, hot, fast, and mean.

Bastian clearly felt the burn, his face contorting with my words.

Biting my tongue, I decided my shake could wait while I washed out the blender. I took it to the sink and scrubbed it hard, trying to get out my frustration.

I wasn’t sure if he even wanted me. He wanted to be my friend through this, sure, but I wasn’t sure he wanted more.

How could he when he left for days after what we’d done in that kennel?

I scrubbed and scrubbed that glass. I wanted it spotless when I placed it into the dishwasher. The dishwasher wouldn’t actually do any cleaning, rather it was double checking my work. It was also a way to avoid that man on the other side of the island, staring at me like I was going to respond to him being immune to me.

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