Page 22 of Inevitable
The breath I’d been holding whooshed out. I couldn’t shake the sense of guilt that came with knowing I would get out of the system so quickly. So quick, I would never have to see it. And that I would never have to go live on the reservation even if my mother had such a strong bond with it.
At this point, everyone was aware that my father didn’t want her associating with the reservation. Growing up, I never bothered to think about it. Now, it overwhelmed me.
“She gave them so much. Her charities raised millions, Jax.”
“Okay,” he said cautiously.
“People probably think I should want to get to know them or live with them. They could fight to have me stay on the reservation,” I whispered.
He didn’t say anything.
“Sorry,” I hurried to apologize. “I shouldn’t burden you with—”
“Don’t apologize for letting me see you.” He sounded offended and took a breath before he leaned toward me. “I want to see every part of you, even the parts you hide from everyone else.”
The way he looked at me when he said those words made my heart race.
I looked down at my hands. “No one wants to see those parts. They’re uncomfortable and ugly, Jax.”
He pushed my chin up with his fingers. “Sexiest parts about you, I promise.”
I pulled away and licked my lips, trying to get a grip. “It’s just that people think I should act a certain way with all this, or want to—”
“You shouldn’t worry about what they think. You want what you want and do what you do. Who gives a fuck what other people think?”
I looked over at him and his hardened gaze told me I shouldn’t argue.
I continued on anyway. “Dr. Pope says it could help to meet them.” Dr. Pope was the therapist Jax’s mother had forced upon both of us, saying we needed someone to talk to.
Jax rolled his eyes and shoved off the boulder. His muscles were coiled tight as he walked to the water’s edge. “Dr. Pope says a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“Aubrey.” That low warning always sent shivers down my back, like him saying my name commanded my body to do whatever he wanted. My body belonged to him, the traitor.
“I know we aren’t supposed to talk about our sessions,” I admitted.
The truth was that formalities and following the rules were dying a quick death in me. I wanted to know if our therapist was telling Jax the same things she was telling me. I wanted to know if he confided in her like I did.
Was he scared in the fire? Did he blame my parents? Was he mad about being in the spotlight all summer? Was that why he stuck around? To be the hero?
I took the last sip of my tea and placed the mug next to Jax’s empty one along with the newspaper. Then, I met him up at the water’s edge.
When I turned to look at him instead of the water, his stormy expression made me want to step back. I stepped out of my sandals and into the water instead. I let the coldness of it wash over me and moved directly into his line of sight. He towered over me, fierce and magnetic. I set my hand on his chest and knew that spark that I felt every time I touched him wasn’t going to subside.
“I told her I’m not sure what you think about us. She asked me if I thought things were going too fast.”
He grunted, not saying a thing, just reading my eyes.
I continued. “I know that can’t be right. I know how fast you can work.”
He started to say something, but I cut him off. “Do you think we’re enabling each other like she says we are?”
It was that question that snapped his control, unbound the knot that coiled all his muscles together, because he lunged for me then. I gasped and he didn’t hesitate, just took it as an opportunity to kiss me hard. I gripped his shirt as he enveloped me, not worrying that his clothes were getting wet. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him, holding nothing back. I wanted him so badly, and because I could feel every hard inch of him, I knew he wanted me too.
Later on, I realized he never answered the question.
