Page 63 of Love to Hate You

I know I didn’t say it often, or maybe not at all, but I’m proud of you, Nash. Don’t ever doubt that. Dad.

I read that letter 20 times before carefully re-folding it and tucking it back in my drawer. He was proud of me. I always hoped for that but was never sure. Now that I know, it’s bittersweet.

A deep sadness wells up inside of me. Not so much for what was lost but for what was never had. And that was a good relationship with my dad.

I decide then and there that I will never hesitate telling my child how proud I am of their accomplishments. Hell, even if they screw everything up, I’m going to encourage them to keep working hard and support them every step of the way.

“Hey, Nash.”

I turn around and see Tanner walk in. “Just the man I need,” I say.

“Really? And why’s that?” he asks in a suspicious voice.

I scrub a hand over my scruffy face. “I fucked up. Big-time and I need your advice.”

“What did you do?”

“I’m not even sure where the hell to start,” I admit.

“That bad, huh?”

“About as bad as it can get,” I say.

“I kind of figured something was up,” he says.

“You did? Why?”

“Because I’ve never seen you at the office unshaven. You’re religious about a clean, close shave every morning.” Tanner drops down in the chair in front of the desk, leans back and clasps his hands over his stomach. “Spill it.”

My nerves are too worked up to sit so I start pacing back and forth. “So, you know how Charlie and I both presented separately to Square, right?” He nods. “Well, we both did good jobs, but she was on another level. Outstanding. The board over there loved her, and the partners here were on the verge of offering her permanent position as President.”

Tanner lifts a dark brow. “You don’t sound upset.”

“I’m not. Hell, Tan, I’m so damn proud of her. She’s earned it and I had to set my ego aside and recognize she’s the better person for the job.”

“So, what happened?”

“She resigned.”

“What? Why?”

“That’s what I couldn’t understand. Then Ivy came in and told me Charlie was pregnant– with Jordan Lowe’s baby.”

“What? No way.”

“I wish I would’ve had the same response.”

“Oh, come on, Nash. You really believed Ivy? We all know she’s been trying to get in your pants for years. She’d lie about anything.”

I stop pacing and massage my temples.

“Oh, no. What did you do?” he asks.

“What do you think? Believed Ivy’s lies and stormed over to confront Charlie.” Tanner cringes. “It was bad. I said some pretty terrible things and she kicked me out.”

“Jesus, Nash.”

“That’s not even the worst part, though.” I hesitate and clench my jaw. “You know how they say there’s always a kernel of truth to every rumor. Well, Charlie is pregnant. And the baby is mine.”

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