Page 61 of Love to Hate You

I suck in a sharp breath and release her upper arms as though they’re on fire. Her words cut me to the quick and instead of staying and fighting for us, I turn on my heel and stalk toward the door.

Anger and overwhelming hurt make me pause, glance over my shoulder and spit out, “You're damn right it’s over, baby.”

20

CHARLIE

Well, that couldn’t have gone any worse, I think, and drop my face into my hands. Even when I’m trying to be civil, he inevitably knows how to piss me off.

Jordan’s baby? Really?What in the hell would give him that idea? Nash Beckett is the most frustrating man I have ever met in my life. I can’t believe he thought I would sleep with Jordan. But what hurt even more was when he questioned if I was keeping the baby.Our baby.

Of course, I am and the fact that he doubted me, kills me.

After thinking long and hard over the situation, the answer wasn’t hard to discern. All this time, I was so focused on work that I couldn’t see my life passing before my eyes. Then when Nash came back into it, he helped me see how much more I can have if I just take a step back and breathe.

I’ve always been go, go, go. Taking a step away from corporate life and having this baby might end up being a blessing in disguise. Granted, a baby doesn’t mean I won’t be busy, and he or she will definitely turn my life upside down. But I have a feeling that it’s going to be in a wonderful way.

Not having Nash on this journey with me, though…

My heart fractures. It’s clear I’ve fallen in love with the idiot.

Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that knowledge? He just stormed out of here and told me everything between us has changed.

With a heavy sigh, I wander over to the balcony and throw the door open. A cool breeze lifts my hair, blowing it lightly around my face, and I walk over to the railing and lean my elbows on it. Gazing out over the city I’ve worked so hard in for so many years, I think about everything I decided to give up.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make at all. I could’ve very easily assumed the presidency and gotten an abortion without anyone being the wiser. But that decision didn’t sit well with me. It left me feeling terrible and made me start questioning what I truly want in my life.

The answer surprised me because it wasn’t work.

After these past few months with Nash, I realize that I want love and to be surrounded by people I love. Even though Nash is angry, I’m hoping we can fix this. A lifetime with him and our child would make me the happiest woman in the world. I haven’t had a family since my parents died. Creating my own little family with Nash and our baby would be so amazing.

I’m not sure when my priorities shifted so drastically but after my presentation to Square and hearing all the praise, I didn’t care. It rolled over me whereas normally I bask in it. And all I kept thinking was, “I hope Nash does well.”

Well, it sounds like he did very well but for some reason they leaned toward me.Maybe it was my maternal glow, I think and shake my head.

There’s a part of me that thinks maybe I could’ve convinced the board that I would be able to handle being a mother and President of TB Tech. I mean, there’s no doubt that I am capable of juggling both roles but TB Tech needs someone to lead it who is going to devote 100 percent of their time and energy, every single day.

I’ve done that long enough. In my heart, I know it’s time to move on.

I was just hoping Nash would want to be a part of this new adventure. But it’s so hard because things can be so volatile between us. He can bring out my worst side and I get so defensive. Maybe we’re too much to work.

But then I remember how good we are together. He lights me up like no one else and makes me feel things on a deep, soul level that tells me we’re perfect for each other.

And now I’ve messed everything up.Great job, Charlie.

I squeeze my eyes shut and send a silent prayer up that somehow, we will be able to set our huge egos aside, take a chance and make this work. I know it’s a risk, but I’ve built my career on taking risks.

Nash may be my biggest risk yet but, if I succeed, it will definitely be worth it. Now I just need to figure out how to fix where I screwed up. I know I need to go somewhere and clear my head but it’s getting late. Besides, I don’t have the energy to do anything except crash on my couch and cry.

For the first time since my parents died, I let my emotions take over and I sob into the pillow until there are no tears left. A part of me is hoping and waiting for Nash to call or return.

But he never does.

After a lot of crying, I finally fall asleep and when I wake up, the soft pink glow of dawn fills the living room. The first thing I do is check my phone but there aren’t any messages.

Rolling off the couch, I head down to the bathroom. Today I’m going to do something that I haven’t done in a very long time. I’m going to take the entire day off and just enjoy it. No work, no responsibilities, no phone calls. Nothing. Just me and a ferry ride over to East Bay Island, my happy place.

Last time I went there, it helped clear my head and see the bigger picture. Plus, it was the most amazing day of just wandering through the small beach town and enjoying my own company. I’m going to have time to think, relax and come up with a game plan for the rest of my life. Even though I’m stepping away from TB Tech, I still need to make some big decisions involving Nash and the baby. Luckily, I have plenty of money saved so I’m financially secure. There’s no rush to run out and find another job.

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