Page 56 of Queen Rose

Aria

Isit on the porch a long time after Nate leaves, not because I think he’ll be willing to talk to me when he gets back, but because I have nowhere to go. I could maybe crash with Lyla, but then she’d start asking questions, and I just can’t tonight.

Behind me, the door creaks open, and my heart jumps up into my throat, expecting to see one of the kids. I really don’t want to have to explain what I’m doing sitting out on the porch in the dark. But instead, it’s Erin.

“Hey. Mind if I sit with you?”

I hop up when I see her holding onto the door frame. “No. Let me help you.”

Nate’s mom gives me a small smile. “Thank you.”

Once we’re both seated, Erin turns to face me. “You know it’s going to be okay, right?”

All the emotion that I’d stuffed down, not wanting to show how badly I felt that I let Nate down and hurt his mom in the process, comes bubbling up to the surface. “I-I didn’t mean to tell you.” I draw in a stuttering breath and then bite down hard on my lip to stop the quivering.

“Oh, honey. I know you didn’t. And I think Nate knows, too. He’s just upset.” She puts an arm around me and draws me to her side. It’s an unexpected show of kindness, one that hits me hard, and I find myself wrapping my arms around her frail body and holding on tightly. A sob breaks free from my chest, and I can’t hold back. Tears fall freely down my face as this woman I hardly know shows me more affection and care than my parents ever have.

She rocks me in her arms for the better part of ten minutes while I blubber all over her. When I finally begin to calm, Erin stuns me again by smiling kindly at me. “I know Nate was trying to protect me, but I’d rather not die thinking my kid is fine and find out after I’m dead that he kept things from me.” She winks. “Not that I really think there’s much for us after we’re gone, but you know what I mean. If I believed in ghosts, this would be the kind of shit that would make me haunt him forever.”

My lips twitch. “Thank you, Erin. For everything. And in the interest of not keeping things from you, because I don’t want you to haunt me either”—I take a deep breath, turning myself to fully face her—“I think I might be in love with your son.” I swallow, rubbing my cry-swollen face with both hands. “And I won’t get mad if you tell him either, though I do plan on telling him myself pretty soon. If he can forgive me, anyway.”

A grin that reaches her eyes lights up her face. “I’m glad you told me. I might be biased, but I think he’s a pretty special guy.” She pauses to put her hand on my back. “And I’m glad he’s found you.”

I swallow. “I really hope I can be what he needs. Sometimes, I worry my baggage and I will be too much for him to handle.”

She chuckles, “We’ve all got baggage, honey. Hell, he obviously has plenty of his own. But it’ll all work out. You’ll see. And don’t worry. We’ll figure out how to deal with this, now that I know. I wish he would have told me so I could have prevented it in the first place, but what’s done is done, right?”

I nod. “There are no time machines, or I’d have hopped in one already.”

I sit in companionable silence with Erin for a few minutes, both thinking our own thoughts. If I had a time machine, I’d go straight back to age twelve and tell my mother that Conner touched my boob at the Christmas party. But I can’t. There’s no taking back what he’s done to me. But I need to be strong enough to put a stop to it. The big, scary feelings I have for Nate make me believe I can do it. For Nate. For us.

And for me, the girl who has been abused for far too long and deserves something better. I see it now.

Beside me, Erin sighs. She has to be exhausted after finding out about Nate and now comforting me. She shifts to look at me again. “I hate to ask you, but would you mind helping me back inside? I tire easily.”

“Not at all.”

After Erin is tucked into bed, I peek into the kids’ room. They’re sleeping soundly, so I feel confident I can probably leave. I have no idea what time Nate will be back, but I know I can’t stay here indefinitely. I’m going to have to go… home.

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