Page 80 of Queen Rose

I go up on tiptoe and kiss his stubble-covered chin, welcoming the rough texture on my lips. It means I’m alive. And with the person of my own choosing. “I’m not going to lie and tell you I’m okay. But… I think someday I might be.”

He nods and looks off into the distance. His jaw works side to side, like he’s coming to a decision. Finally, he meets my gaze. “Do you want to know what I’ve seen in the last twelve hours?”

I shudder, blinking rapidly. My heart trips, wondering what he’s about to say.

He lowers his face to mine, until his words brush my lips. “I saw the strongest girl I’ve ever met. A girl who has overcome incredible hardships. I saw a badass fighter. What’s been happening to her is ugly, but she hasn’t ever given up trying to be happy.” He kisses me softly.

I must look shocked because he kisses me again. “Everyone’s waiting in the kitchen.” He gestures to the window where I can see them clearly trying not to look like they’re watching us, but they totally are.

“We look awesome, by the way.” I wrinkle my nose. One of the nurses gave me a pair of blue scrubs to wear home, and Nate’s in his undershirt and dress pants from last night. I look down at my bare feet, dreading the walk up the pebbled driveway.

Nate notices my dilemma right away. “I’ll carry you.” He bends to pick me up, bringing me to his chest, and I loop my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I cling to him like a koala in a tree.

“Thank you,” I whisper against his neck. “For everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me. Don’t you know how much I care about you?”

“Yeah, but aside from the whole coming-to-my-rescue thing, I appreciate that you didn’t leave.”

He stops midway up the drive and pulls back to look me in the eye. “You thought I’d leave you?”

I tuck my face into his neck and sigh. “No, not really. But when you’ve had it drilled into your head for so long that you’re unworthy and unlovable, it’s a little hard to let go of it so quickly.” I swallow hard. “They never answered their phones.” My voice hitches, and I feel the overwhelming disappointment and sadness stuck in my throat.

Nate grunts. “Your parents are fucking idiots.”

All I can do is nod. Fucking negligent assholes.

He begins walking again, only this time he holds me more tightly, and his lips find my neck, dropping soft, open-mouthed kisses all over.

At the front door, we don’t have to knock; it immediately swings open as if they were waiting right there for us.

There’s a gentle gasp from one of the girls and then a low, “Awww.” I recognize Daphne’s voice, so I don’t unbury my face from Nate’s neck to check. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.” Thwack. “Micah, you could take a lesson from Nate. See how he’s got her all wrapped around him? That’s way better than hauling me over your shoulder like some barbarian.”

Micah’s voice comes low. “Chewbacca. You know I’m pretending to be Chewie. And you fucking love it. Stop denying it.”

Somewhere in the middle of their playful bickering, we’re ushered into the house and upon entering the expansive kitchen, we’re surrounded by my friends. I know all eyes are on me. I take a deep breath as I release the hold my legs have on Nate and turn slowly to face them. I don’t know what I’d expected to see, but the love I feel flowing around this room almost knocks me off my feet. I pause for a moment, letting that sink deeply inside my heart.

My eyes flick to Beau, who has paused what he’s doing at the stovetop. “I’d really like a cheese, bacon, and onion omelet, please.”

He blinks once, swallows, and nods. “You got it.”

There’s a flurry of activity around us as Nate and I sit down. It’s comforting. It’s the way a home and family are supposed to feel—at least I assume so, because this is nothing I’ve been exposed to on a regular basis. I’ve only ever felt this sense of family on occasions when my friends and I are gathered like this. For the longest time, I’d shied away from it, leaving early, removing myself from their happiness because I thought it was something I’d never truly be capable of, nothing I’d ever have. But now, I have Nate. And he’s showing me that I’m worthy. I’m wanted.

It’s almost too much for my ravaged heart and mind to handle. Almost.

As for Nate, he keeps a hand on me at all times—resting it on my lower back, squeezing my thigh, holding my hand, tucking a few locks of hair behind my ear. Honestly, I think it has more to do with his peace of mind than anything else. Assuring himself that I’m here and I’m okay. I can’t blame him. There were definitely moments when I thought that was it, that I wasn’t escaping, and I was going to have to endure the unthinkable. Conner would have destroyed me if Nate hadn’t figured out where to find me.

After we’ve filled our bellies, we end up down in the TV room, which has the most comfortable seating. I’ve got a mug of coffee with me, warming my still-trembling hands, and have seated myself in the corner of one of the L-shaped couches. Nate settles in next to me, drawing my legs over his. Since we’ve arrived, he’s only strayed from my side long enough to change into the gray joggers and T-shirt that Micah offered him.

“So.” Xander’s expression is strained, and he actually looks like he might not feel the greatest. But when he finally continues, the anguish is clear in his voice, and I know it’s not that he doesn’t feel well; he’s hurting. “I don’t understand why you never said anything.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to breathe. My face screws into what I know is an ugly expression as I hold back years’ worth of heartache and misery.

Lyla reaches for my hand and holds on tight. “It’s okay, Aria. We can talk about it later, once you’ve slept.” Her voice is gentle, full of compassion.

“N-no. I want to get it out. I want to tell you everything. I-I can’t hold it inside me anymore.” I inhale raggedly, my eyes traveling the room. My chest feels like it’s going to cave in. I take another deep breath and begin. “When I was little, I loved Conner. He was my favorite. I trusted him. I’d sit on his lap at family gatherings. He’d comfort me when I had bad dreams. He’d always been there for me.” I pause, taking a sip of my drink to wet my mouth because it’s gone unbearably dry. “But then things began to change. At first, I just thought he was being overly touchy. And he said things like, maybe he shouldn’t be laying down with me when I had trouble sleeping. But he never stopped. And that’s kinda when things started getting worse. When I didn’t tell him no.”

Max’s jaw works back and forth. “He was the adult. He knew what he was doing or feeling was wrong.”

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