Page 60 of Wrecked Rose

“What do you mean?” A panicked feeling washes over me.Have I really been that obvious?I begin to sweat in earnest now as I await her response.

Daph shakes her head, exasperated. “I can see from the look on your face that you’re scared you’ve done something to make me notice what’s going on between the two of you. And if I’ve noticed, then everyone else must have, too.” She wets her lip. “But I seriously doubt anyone else thought anything of it. It’s just the way you’ve been looking at him lately has me thinking maybe there’s something on your end, too.”

Warily, I side-eye her. “And whatdidyou notice?”

“Um…” She sucks her lips into her mouth for a few seconds before releasing them. “You were both a little flirty the day it snowed. And when you crashed on the sled there was a panic in your eyes that I don’t know would have been there if you didn’t feel something for him. And then after the snow jump, when you went upstairs together, there was something about the expression on both of your faces. You both looked very happy—together, I mean.” She puts her hand on my forearm, gently squeezing. “Again, I don’t think I would have noticed if the thought wasn’t already in my head that maybe…” Daph’s gaze softens and she nods, like she’s reaffirming her thoughts. “But that’s only part of it. I’ve felt like Max has been lying to me for a while now. He got especially cagey when he finally let Scarlett and me know he’s been crushing on you big-time—like he was holding something back from us. Max wouldn’t lie to me for no good reason. He’s doing it to protectyou.”

My heart squeezes hard in my chest. “I know he told you he’s into me. But is that how he really put it?”

She tilts her head to the side, giving me a soft smile. “Crushing on you big-time? Yeah. I think he’s kind of crazy about you.”

I nod. “Okay.”

She frowns when I don’t say more. “Okay? Griff, I know this has to be huge for you if you feel the same. Scary, even. I get that. But promise me you won’t hurt him.”

“That’s not my intention. Not at all.” I bite my lip, staring at her and taking in her nervousness for her best friend. “But I’m struggling.” My voice hitches and my face heats. “A lot.” It’s a relief to say the words aloud even though I’m fucking embarrassed about it.

Now, if only I knew how to deal with it. From my reaction to the guys earlier, there’s no denying that I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing… or if I’ll ever be capable of showing the world what I feel for Max.

And that makes me feel like absolute shit. It makes me want to hide from damn near everyone. So that’s what I try to do.

* * *

Putting my head in the sand is a great plan, except after school that afternoon, Lyla bursts into my room like the hurricane she is as soon as she gets home from gymnastics practice. She pauses on the threshold, hands on her hips, appraising me for several moments before she turns around and shuts the door with a quietclick.

I pull out my earbuds and slide my French composition notebook out of the way. There’s no way I’m getting any more of this done now. Not with the look Lyla has on her face.

“You trust me, don’t you?” She climbs onto the bed and kneels next to me.

“Yeah. I do. Why?”

“Then why haven’t you said a single word about whatever happened at the party?”

“Because I’m fucking mortified, that’s why.”

“Because you might like a guy?”

“No. Because I didn’t stand up for him. Or myself. I let Jack—who we all know is an unenlightened ass—say awful, hurtful things about Max.”

Her lips part as she stares at me. “Really?” Her teeth sink into her lower lip. “Like what?”

“I don’t want to say.”

“Must have been bad.”

I nod. “It was. But even worse, I allowed him to assume it was a girl I had in my shower.” I swallow but then quickly continue, now I’m on a roll. “When the reality is, if they’d been five minutes earlier, they’d have barged in mid hand job.”

Her mouth forms an O. “You mean he was”—she makes a gesture like she’s jerking someone—“you?” Her cheeks flush pink, and her eyes sparkle with delight.

Maintaining eye contact, I slowly shake my head.

For a second time, her mouth drops into an O. She clears her throat, staring at me. “So, you— Was it fun? No wait, wrong word. Like, was it different? To do that to someone else instead of yourself?”

I scrub my hands through my hair. “Fuck. Yes. Fun and different in a good way. All of that. Everything we’ve done together has been great. But he doesn’t want to keep us a secret, and I can’t get out of the proverbial closet. So we’re kind of fucked, and not in a fun way.”

“What do you think would happen if you were out, Griff?”

“I don’t know.” I’m ashamed of the way my voice shakes. “I really don’t know. And that’s what scares me the most.”

---