Page 20 of Tainted Rose

He groans, nuzzling his face against my neck, removing his fingers from inside me. “Was that good, Red?”

The words lodge in my throat as it hits me all at once what I’ve done. My body stiffens, shame washing over me in unending waves. I drop my leg from around him. I had been tugging him to me, but now I shove against him, breathing hard. My hands raise in front of me, face out between us. They shake, and I close my eyes, murmuring, “I need you not to touch me anymore.”

I swallow down the humiliation I’m feeling. Straightening my skirt, I stare down at the floor between us, unable to look him in the eye. I’m completely flustered and confused by what I’ve allowed to happen. I don’t know how something can feel so right when it is so very clearly wrong. Fuck. Why did I do that? Why didn’t I stop him? Why didn’t I put up a fight when he got close? I’m such an idiot for him. Girl gone wild. I chuckle to myself. Girl gone stupid is more like it. That’s the only answer.

Xander’s hand goes to the back of his neck, tugging on it as he watches me. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he drops his hand. “Look, Red, I thought— I thought you were into it.”

I turn around and work the combination on my locker. For some reason, now the stubborn bitch decides to pop right open. You couldn’t have done that earlier so I’d have been out of here before he showed up? I shove my gym bag inside and slam the door shut.

“I know. And I was. That’s the problem, Xander.”

He clamps his teeth over his lower lip, giving me a half smile, his stupid dimple starting to pop out again. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to want you anymore.”

He steps closer again. “Why not?” He reaches across the space between us, his fingertips lightly skimming along my jaw. I can smell myself on his hand, and the idea of it makes my face flame red.

I jerk away, slapping at his hand. “Because you hurt me, Xander. You threw us away. You fucking shattered everything we had.” I heave out an angry breath. “I don’t trust you anymore. Not with my head, my heart, or my body. And clearly, I can’t trust myself either, so I need you to back the fuck off.”

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