Page 11 of Santa Daddy

Chapter Eleven - Lillian

I’ve barely had the chance to put my coat away and put the kettle on when I get back to my apartment the following morning when I hear the doorbell. He very nearly came back with me, but he has meetings today and we’re liable to stay in bed if we’re not careful. I still can’t believe how much I like him. Everything in my mind is screaming at me, telling me I should be getting away from this situation since it is almost guaranteed to go bad. He’s Chuck’s dad for God’s sake.

When I hear the doorbell, I can’t stop the smile that breaks across my face. He’s followed me up. I swing the door open, expecting to see him, but it’s not him. It’s Chuck again.

“Hi.” I don’t have the chance to make an excuse as to why I can’t let him in because my eyes fall down to his clothes. “You’re in yesterday’s clothes? Didn’t you go home last night?”

“I really need to talk to you.” It’s only then that I see the look in his eyes, a completely lost look. He looks like he’s seconds away from breaking down. He looks scared.

“Oh my God, Chuckie,what’s happened?” He walks in but instead of walking past me, he hugs me tightly till the point I can’t breathe for a second.

“I’m so sorry for last night. I know I probably freaked you out.” He lets me go and walks past me to the living room. Collapsing down on the sofa, he covers his face with his hands.

“Yeah, you actually really did.” I walk past him into the kitchen, looking at him over the counter that overlooks the living room. I don’t bother asking him if he wants a coffee. He looks like he needs a couple.

“When I left here, I felt rejected because I could tell the idea of us being together wasn’t favored on your part.”

I open my mouth to defend myself, but he waves a hand at me as he watches me over the back of the sofa.

“Don’t sweat it. It was stupid of me and so wrong it’s laughable now, but what I’m getting at is that I went and get rip-roaring drunk last night. It felt super weird doing it without you, by the way.” He takes the coffee I offer him when I sit down next to him on the sofa.

I really should text Charles and make sure he doesn’t come up.

“But from the alcohol came something that I didn’t know about myself, that or I just didn’t want to know. I need your help with it, though, because I just… I don’t know what to do.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m gay or at least bi-sexual. I slept with a guy last night.”

My face feels like stone as I try my hardest to not react in a way that will upset him because I think my initial reaction of what the fuck will do just that. Yesterday he was telling me he might love me, and then this morning he’s bi-sexual?

“I’m a bit confused… Can you explain?” Does he mean he actually had sex with a guy last night? I try to go back the years that I’ve known him for any indication of him not being straight, and I can’t find any. He’s always seemed interested in women. He’s slept with a fair few too.

“I fucked a guy up the ass last night.” He looks more confused than I feel.

“No! That is not what I meant.” I cover my face, trying to smother the laugh that tries to burst out of me at the sudden absurdity of it all. “I understand what you meant by slept with a guy. What I meant is how did you go from loving me to up the bum?” I wince, wondering if it was the wrong phrase of words, but he just laughs as he puts his coffee down on the coffee table and leans back.

“I don’t know. It’s still sinking in…” He toes his shoes off and lifts his legs up onto the sofa, curling up on his side. “Can I stay here for the day?”

“As if I’m ever going to say no to you.” I wait to see if he will explain and when he doesn’t, I have to ask. “So, just to double-check, you’re past your sudden romantic love for me, right?”

“Yes, babe. I realized that it wasn’t your ass that I was missing all my life.” He says it in jest, but I can see the shock etched across his face. I hope it hits him while he’s still here… I don’t want him to have to deal with that alone.

“I love you no matter what. I’m here for you, you know that, right?” I squeeze his foot as I stand up, watching his face faulter for a moment.

“I’m okay, just tripping about it, that’s all. I’ll be okay once I’ve caught up on sleep.” I hope for his sake he is right. How am I supposed to tell him about his dad and me now?

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