Page 121 of Damn Roommate

Well, I hope so.

Niklas can be rude when he’s not doing well. I forgave him every time, because I knew who he was deep down.

I walk hesitantly towards the open casket. Hendrik lies solemnly in a black suit. The sight of him makes my stomach turn. I’ve never been comfortable with the concept of death. Seeing him lying down gives me cold sweats. I have wished many times that he die and now that he is, I feel guilty for having had this kind of thought.

Twelve years ago

This room, far too big for me, has a neutral decoration, it needs to be personalized. The double bed is huge, I can’t help but sit on it to appreciate the fluffy side. A large bay window brings natural light to the room.

It must be nice to get up here every morning.

“Don’t get too comfortable. You’ll be out of here in no time.”

On the doorstep, my new stepbrother is sizing me up sternly. If I wasn’t thrilled to be here, it’s much worse for him. As soon as we arrived, he was austere towards us.

“You and your mother are just temporary, like all the others.”

His attitude doesn’t affect me, I’m in the same state of mind.I remain seated while he walks over to my luggage; he grabs my case where my violin is.

“Be careful, don’t break it.”

“All pretty things break one day.”

Is he only talking about the violin? He ends up putting it down. His icy blue irises land on me. He wants to be scary, but I see only beauty in them. They stand out against his dark hair and fair complexion.

“Were there many?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Women, before my mother.”

An evil grin stretches his lips.

“A lot, indeed. All money grabbers. Your mother will be the same. If I were you, I wouldn’t unpack my suitcase.”

With these sharp words, he leaves my room.

Who does he think he is? I’ll make him swallow that arrogant look. I won’t let him crush me.

***

Rikard rages while drinking his glass. The insult that was intended for me, my boyfriend took it personally. His egocentricity always amazes me. He would have liked to leave, but the reading of the will is my pretext for staying. And it’s out of the question for him to leave me alone.

We’ve been at the funeral for an hour, and I got to see familiar faces again. Like classmates, especially those who were part of our gang with Niklas. I was surprised to see Lucia, I thought she would have left Kiruna, but she preferred to stay here to work as a veterinarian. As for Gunkil and Fredrik, Nik’s two best friends, they barely spoke to me.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I tell Rikard after a while.

“Okay, I’ll go get another drink.”

Four drinks. When he drinks too much, he is even worse thanusual. I can’t stop him, but I can get away for a while. Besides, the gloomy atmosphere makes me feel bad, I need a change of air. I leave the library to find myself in front of a wide black wooden staircase. The handrail, of the same material, worn over the years, is nonetheless pretty. My fingers brush the sculpted reliefs in the shape of a flower as I climb up to the second floor. The house has two floors and an attic converted into a bachelor apartment for Niklas.

This room…

I shiver as long repressed memories come back to mind.No, I refuse to think about it. I shake my head and head straight for my old room.

When I open the door, I expected to find a layer of dust several inches thick, but nothing. Everything is clean. This place reminds me of a mausoleum, nothing has changed. The atmosphere is full of memories that assail me. On my bed sits a stuffed red fox. It seems so small to me. I caress its fur with my fingers, smiling. My hasty departure didn’t allow me to take it.

“Hello, my old friend.”

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