Page 79 of The Reading

Getting up from behind my desk, I decided it’d be best not to come at her like her boss, but rather as her friend. This whole kissing random guys was unwise for so many reasons, but I genuinely believed that her soulmate was not any of our patrons. Even if it wasn’t me, it wasn’t any of them.

There was a knock on my door a couple of minutes later, and since I’d been expecting her, Alessa opened the door, then let herself in. “Leila said you wanted to see me?”

I nodded. “Shut the door,” I instructed.

She did as I’d asked, then leaned up against the wood, and she looked so fucking sexy that I almost lost my train of thought. “What’s going on?”

Taking in a deep breath, I said, “I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

“You do?” she asked, surprised a bit.

“Though I still stand by what I said, I didn’t mean to sound as if I was dismissing how you feel about the subject.”

Her eyes narrowed. “That is the most backwards apology that I’ve ever heard, Carter,” she replied dryly. “I’m not even sure if it’s an apology.”

“It is,” I insisted. “Even if you don’t like the facts of the apology, it’s still an apology.”

I watched the tension ease from her frame. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you, if that’s even what this is, so I’ll accept.”

“But…?”

“I still don’t think there’s anything wrong with opening up myself to all the new possibilities that come with New Year’s Eve.”

The woman was seriously killing me.

*****

Alessa~

It was weird having this conversation with my boss, but I could appreciatehow Carter wanted to clear the air between us. After we had finished inventory earlier, I’d thought about what he’d said, and I’d had to reluctantly admit that he had a point from the boss’ perspective. It wasn’t ideal to go around kissing our regular customers, but I could admit that I was…I wanted this to be my night.

Thinking back on the past year, I wouldn’t say that I was still hung up on Cortland, because I wasn’t. I’d never carry a torch for a cheater. Still, that didn’t mean that what he’d done hadn’t hurt, because it had. Like most cheating victims, I had done a thorough autopsy of what could have gone wrong, and I had even done myself the disservice of wondering if I’d been to blame. It had taken a while, but I had finally snapped myself out of that kind of thinking, but loneliness had a way of distorting a person’s viewpoint sometimes.

However, Cortland’s betrayal also hadn’t been enough to turn me against love, though, sometimes, I wish that it had. If I were bitter, then hope wouldn’t keep disappointing me because I wouldn’t have any. Nevertheless, I did still have hope of finding love again, and after seeing the girls find their soulmates, I really wanted tonight to be my night.

“Alessa, this isn’t about…I’m not trying to crush your dreams,” Carter said. “I just think that kissing random guys is not the way to go about it.”

“Why not?”

“Christ on a cracker, woman,” he swore. “Listen to yourself, for fuck’s sake. You’re talking like you’re living in a fairytale. You’re acting like these kisses are going to come with a neon sign pointing to the man of your dreams.”

“And you’re acting like they can’t,” I argued. “Why can’t they, Carter? Why can’t a kiss mean everything? Why can’t a kiss change my life?”

“It can,” he said softly. “It absolutely can, Alessa. But c’mon…do you really think that the kiss that is meant to change your life is going to happened with drunk guys in a packed bar? Everyone is looking to get laid on New Year’s Eve, so what you might think of as a neon sign, that drunk guy might only see it as a chance to get his dick wet.”

“Wow,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You really are a bastard.”

He sighed. “I just don’t want to see you get your hopes up for nothing.”

Carter was too late. My hopes were already up. My hopes for finding love had always been up. I’d never given up on finding my soulmate, even after everything that had happened with Cortland. Madam Brousseau’s predictions had just intensified that hope a little bit, is all. Watching the girls find their true partners hadn’t helped, either.

“That’s nice of you, but I’m used to it,” I muttered reluctantly. “So, it’s not like it’d be anything new, even if they do all turn out to be a bust.”

Carter’s blue eyes widened. “Do youhearyourself?”

“What?”

“Christ, Alessa, that has got to be the saddest thing that I’ve ever heard,” he went on. “You’reusedto being disappointed by men.”

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