Page 56 of The Reading

The only other men in my life were my dad and uncles and that was illegal in this state. Plus, yuck. I mean, I guess my family members were attractive enough, but not like that. As for the new men in my life, they were all paired up with my best friends, so that was a hard flippin’ no. That was right up there with the whole family member thing.

Still, if I were to listen to Zara’s ramblings, those predictions were the real deal. Zara was starting to believe, but I wasn’t quite there yet. So far, each guy in the predictions had been single, and I didn’t know any single guys that weren’t assholes. While I didn’t mind casual dating or easy sex, I drew the line at sleeping with coworkers that were sleeping-or have slept with-a bunch of other coworkers. That’s how a person got herpes, and no thanks.

Granted, I didn’t have a lot of room to be picky, but I could be picky enough. While not remarkable to look at, I wasn’t a two. I had light brownhair, dark brown eyes, and though I’d been told that I had a pretty face, I was a bit on the you-can-tell-that-she-likes-ice-cream side, and no matter how many miles I put on my treadmill, I really did like ice cream. My mom had died in a tragic car accident when I’d been only seven, and my father had tried to compensate by using sugar as a soothing balm. When he had remarried years later, his wife, Lucky, had joined in on the fun, and I had a sweet tooth as a result.

At any rate, while I might not be able to score someone on Wyatt Valinsky’s level, I could do better than a man that couldn’t practice monogamy. All the guys that I worked with were the very definition of free love, and that might have been good enough in my early twenties, but not these days.

Rolling Mrs. Mannis into the courtyard, I glanced around at all the other nurses and patients, and I had to wonder if I was being too judgmental. I mean, age was just a number, right? Plus, it wasn’t like I was looking to rob anyone of their social security checks. I made a good living. Crystal Gardens was the best and most expensive nursing home in three counties. They hired only the best doctors, and families paid a fortune to house a loved one here. Though the state paid a fair chunk of the living costs, the rest of the financing came from family members, and this shit wasn’t cheap.

As for Mrs. Mannis, she was well enough to walk, but she couldn’t walk far without getting winded, so I didn’t like taking chances with her. She was only sixty-three, but she’d had a few health setbacks, and she still suffered from them a bit. Her husband had passed away from a heart attack a few years back, and her son had registered her with Crystal Gardens last year. Supposedly, he was some brilliant, incredible, fancy doctor, so cost hadn’t been an option. Still, with all that money, you’d think that he could afford to keep her at home. He probably didn’t want his ailing mother cramping his single lifestyle. I knew that he was single because Mrs. Mannis talked about him a lot.

“It’s such a beautiful day today,” she said as I got us both situated next to the pond. It was full of beautiful geese, but the fuckers were aggressive as hell, so everyone knew to look but not touch. In all actuality, they should be heading south for the winter soon. Some days were still warm, though we were already in November.

“Well, we need to appreciate it while we can,” I said, smiling. “It’s going to start getting too cold to come out here.”

“The cold does ruin a lot, doesn’t it?” she asked wistfully.

“Yeah, just ask any man that you’ve ever met,” I snorted, and she laughed. “That’s why the toilet paper roll test is so important.”

“The toilet paper roll test?”

“Oh, Mrs. Mannis,” I chuckled, “let me educate you, ma’am.”

Chapter 1

Rachel~

“By all means,” she replied, a glint in her dark brown eyes, the same eyes as her son’s.

I tried not to sigh when I thought of Taylor Mannis, but it was hard. Though I didn’t know the man well, I knew enough to know that he could easily afford to have his mother at home with him. The jerk was also too gorgeous for words. Begrudgingly, I could give credit where credit was due, and the man visited his mother often. Ellen, Mrs. Mannis, had mentioned how her son would never go more than a week without visiting her, even though his schedule was a hectic one. Not only was he a brilliant doctor in major demand, but he also did a bunch of pro-bono work. Supposedly, he operated on children for free. I didn’t know the details, but if your child had a horrible scar or birth deformity, Doctor Taylor Mannis was the doctor that you went to for help.

The man was also about six-foot-two, had dark brown hair to match the eyes that he’d gotten from his mother, and it was obvious that he worked out. He was always in casual wear whenever he visited his mother, and that casual wear looked good on him.

Too bad he was a jerk.

“So, the test is rather simple,” I said, starting my explanation. “You take an empty toilet paper roll and…” I glance around to make sure that no one was around to overhear our totally inappropriate conversation. Still, if you asked me, this was more like a public service. “…well, if the head of the penis doesn’t fit through the roll, then he passes the test, because that means he has girth going for him.”

Ellen nodded, completely intrigued. “Do tell.”

“Now, if the head of his penis slides in, but comes out the other end, then that’s also a pass. It means that he’s got length working for him. Stretching you out or stabbing at your cervix are both good things.”

She let out a soft chuckle. “I’d say so.”

“However, if the head of his penis slides in, but doesn’t come out the other end, well…then, he needs to find a woman that’s going to love him for him,” I finished, and Ellen let out a heart-filled laugh. “I mean, I don’t think the test is documented in any reputable science books, but it’s an important test.”

With a huge smile on her face, Ellen said, “I should think so. Oh, God…can you imagine what it was like when a woman’s virginity was saved until her wedding night? Unless there was some premature fooling around, you had no idea what you were getting yourself into until it was too late.”

“True,” I agreed. “But I think that’s why men are all about virgins. If there’s no one else to compare them to, then they’ll always be the best that their wives ever had.”

“That’s also true,” she murmured. “If she has no experience, then there’s no way of her knowing if he’s truly great in bed or dreadful.”

I grinned. “Well, that’s where the toilet paper roll test comes in handy.”

Ellen eyed me. “Do…do youactuallyhave the men that you date do the test?”

“Please,” I snorted. “Like their egos could handle it.”

“That’s another good observation about men,” she chuckled.

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