Page 79 of Until Him
I’m walking swiftly through campus, trying to get to my next class, when I see him. I notice him everywhere I go now; it’s like my eyes have been calibrated to home in on him. It’s been a week since I confessed my heartbreak to him, and Logan has been infuriatingly kind.
But he hasn’t touched me either.
I just watch him get off after every study session, and it’s so impersonal that it makes my stomach hurt. I don’t even want to do it anymore.
Logan makes no move to stay after. He just cleans himself up, says goodbye to Curie, and leaves.
I miss him.
I spent the entire week obsessing over him, even eating those vegetables his dad gave me until there were none left, and I hate vegetables.
Jesus, I’m messed up.
“Logan, stop!” A feminine voice squeals, and I look over to see a girl perched on his lap, her mouth wide open and laughing.
Is he tickling her?
Jesus.
I force my gaze away from them and pick up my pace. I need to get to class anyway. So what if I’m a little early?
“Theo!” Logan shouts, but I don’t turn around; I walk faster. I’ll just pretend like I don’t hear him. It’s better this way.
Better for my heart.
“Hey!” his voice draws closer and then his hand is on my shoulder, pulling me to a stop. “Hey, why are you running?”
“I didn’t hear you,” I lie, not meeting his eyes.
Logan lets go of me and runs a hand across his chest. “Yeah, okay, if you say so.”
We just stand there awkwardly for a minute, visions of the way he kissed me so tenderly weighing heavily on me. I can still feel him inside of me.
“I have to go,” I say, and Logan lets out a huff.
“Fine.”
“And you have your friends to go back to,” I say, looking over his shoulder and seeing a group of people watching us.
“Shit, Theo. Is that what this is about?”
I roll my lips between my teeth and look away.
“I don’t fit,” I whisper, and Logan reaches out, his hand clasping onto my neck.
“You fit with me just fine. You just don’t want to.”
God, I want to. But it’s not that simple, is it? It can’t be.
I swallow, trying not to meet his eyes, but unable to resist the pull.
“I’ll see you at six?” I ask and Logan lets go of me and nods.
“Yeah.”
And as I walk away, his gaze heavy on me, I feel my heart crumble just a little.
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