Page 88 of Stabby Little

Sparrow scoots closer to me. "You don't need to banish Grant to the friendzone."

"I did no such thing."

"I never told you about Jagger." A dreamy look washes over Sparrow's face.

Finn and I both turn to Sparrow. "Jagger?"

Sparrow bites his lower lip. "I shouldn't say this. We're speaking about Grant and I don't want to steal the spotlight."

Finn smacks his arm. "If you have a crush, we want to know."

"I agree." I issue Sparrow a stern look. "Come clean."

Sparrow swallows his Zebra cake. "He was… my friend's uncle growing up."

Finn raises his eyebrows. "This is promising."

"He also led the Wilderness Explorer troop I belonged to. This was before they allowed girls in, so it was boys only. He took us on nature explorations and taught us survival techniques."

"I like that." I nod in approval. "That's what troop leaders should do."

"He didn'thurtyou, did he?" Finn's eyebrows stitch together. "I've seen a million of those advertisements on TV for victims who sue their troop leaders. It's revolting."

"Hell no." Sparrow glares at Finn. "I wouldn't have started the story in a positive light if that happened."

"Tell me more." I scoot closer to Sparrow. "Why do you have such great memories about Jagger?"

"He encouraged me when no one else did. I had ADHD as a child and the other Wilderness Explorer leaders wrote me off as a lost cause. I was too loud during shooting lessons and I distracted the other boys during campfire songs."

"I take it Jagger took you under his wing."

"He was the first Wilderness Explorer leader to see my potential. He took me on expeditions with his nephew and helped me earn my badges. When we went fishing, he shared his minnows and helped me cast my line. In the woods, he lent me his ax and taught me how to chop firewood. None of the other leaders cared about me—he knew I wasn't a problem child. I had talent in his eyes, real skill I could put to use."

"When did you develop a crush on him?"

"I didn't know it was a crush at first. My own father left me when I was a boy, so I simply enjoyed spending time with him. He was a role model to me. I wanted to be just like him: strong, powerful, willing to see the good in people. It wasn't until the Diavolos took me that I realized I liked him in another way."

"That makes sense." I crack my neck. "You were too young to realize what a gay crush was."

"Well, not really." Sparrow shakes his head. "I fooled around with my Wilderness Explorer mates, so I was aware that I was into guys. Nothing extreme and nothing overtly sexual. It was innocent and I was curious more than anything. My friends were, too. Or at least that's what they told me."

"You didn't know you were into Jagger?" I ask.

"Right. He was so much older than me and a real man. I didn't even have the conceptual framework to comprehend my desire to be his friend."

"That's the way it was with Grant." I rest my chin on my fist. "He was an otherworldly figure. I never had improper thoughts about him when I knew him. Everything changed in the warehouse."

"I know what you mean." Finn's voice is deadly.

I nod. "Those motherfuckers made me learn about sex way too early. Grant was the only adult who never tried to hurt me. He offered me a safe space when I needed it and swore he'd look out for me. If the Diavolos hadn't taken advantage of me, my fantasies wouldn't have grown sexual so quickly. They fucked up the wires in my brain."

Finn shakes his head in disgust. "Those bastards fucked us up. They deserve everything we'll do to them."

"You can say that again." I take a bite of popcorn. "I won't stop until they pay for their crimes. It wasn't just us they hurt—it was the Room A boys, our friends in Room B, and the boys they shoved into the black market adoption trade in Room C. They hurt each group in their own way."

Finn wraps his arm around Sparrow's shoulders. "Do you think you'll search for your friend's uncle?"

"I don't know." Sparrow stares into the distance. "I knew him such a long time ago. I'm not sure he'd remember me."

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