Page 78 of Stabby Little

"No." I shake my head. "Everyone told me I was crazy. They said you were dead or ran away from home. I knew they were wrong. I felt it in my gut you were still out there. Alive. Lost. Waiting for someone to find you. To help you escape the hell your demons put you in."

Ollie's eyes well with tears. "I had a feeling you were still looking." He rubs his left eye with the back of his hand. "Don't ask me how, but I knew it. Can I share something?"

"Of course."

"You probably don't remember this, but when I was little, I confided in you about my Dad's panic attacks."

"I remember."

"You said this house was a safe space. Whenever my Dad got angry and threw things, you'd allow me to come here and rest."

"I remember."

"You said that no matter what happened or how violent he got, your door was always open. I never forgot." Ollie stares at his feet. "Despite the shit I went through, those words stuck with me. I knew you were still searching."

I take a step forward. "Can I hug you, Ollie?" I touch his shoulder. "Is that something you'd allow?"

Ollie nods. "Yes."

I wrap my arms around him. His tears bleed into my shirt, but I don't pay attention. I squeeze him hard, treasuring him, letting him know he's safe. Even though seven years have passed and I fucking failed my mission to find him, he's okay now. Nothing can get him. No sick fuck can hurt him again.

Ollie drags his teary eyes up to mine. "What happened to Miles and Linda?"

I gesture to the photos on the wall. "I went nuts looking for you. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. When the New York FBI field office told me you were a lost cause, they told me to give up. Linda left me four years ago and took Miles."

"I can't believe it."

"She insinuated I cared more about you than my own son. It was disgusting because I obviously loved Miles a lot. But I refused to give up on you like everyone else. Refused to give the FBI the last word when I knew they'd overlooked shit. I didn't know how I'd find you, but I knew you were out there. I felt it in my bones."

Ollie blinks hard. "Did Miles feel that way, too?"

I stare into Ollie's eyes. Do I tell him the truth? Or would he prefer a confabulation, one that'll feel better in the moment but is a bald-faced lie?

"I don't want to hurt you." I pry my eyes away from his. "My son has been influenced by his mother."

“Tell me the truth." Ollie's eyes narrow. "I'm not the boy I was when my abductors ripped me away. I'm a man now. Eighteen. I would've graduated high school this term. I can handle it."

"Miles was livid I spent so much time searching for you. He believed the feds when they said you were dead. He felt like I abandoned him, but he was wrong. I never abandoned him. Two things can be true at the same time. I loved Miles but I also refused to let you go."

Ollie's eyes fall to the floor. He rubs them, then takes a step back. "I understand. If Miles had disappeared, I might've given up searching, too."

"No." I tilt Ollie's chin up. "You wouldn't have. If I knew you at all back in the day, and I believe I did, I'm convinced you're a fighter. You wouldn't have stopped searching for your friend, not like my son did. You would've gone to the ends of the earth to find him."

My breath hitches as I stare into Ollie's eyes. His dewy eyelashes are silk on his soft cheeks. I don't know how I didn't realize this while staring at his photos.

I lead Ollie out of my investigation room and guide him to the door. I ask if he wants to stay, but he tells me he needs to get back to his friends. His two buddies are renting an apartment together and planning to watch animated movies.

Just before Ollie leaves, he turns around. "Just so you know, I thought about you a lot in captivity."

"I'm glad I could comfort you."

Ollie lifts his knee. "I thought about you patching up my scraped knee. It was the nicest thing anyone ever did for me."

I lift my eyes up. "Are you sure you don't want to stay for breakfast? I could make those buttermilk pancakes you like."

"Maybe next time." Ollie turns around. "I need to get back to my friends."

As Ollie hops on his bike, something familiar floats across my brain. There's something about him that gives me déjà vu.

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