Page 40 of Love in the Air at The Cornish Bakery

‘Go where?’ Diane walked towards her.

‘Out. I need to get some air. I’m sorry.’ Before Diane could say anything else, Nina yanked her apron over her head and headed to the front door, flinging her apron onto the counter as she went.

Stepping outside, she closed the door on Diane’s questions. She was only concerned about her. Nina knew that, but she wouldn’t be for long. Not when she found out what Nina had been hiding from them all.

She hardly noticed the rain as it pelted down, sinking quickly through her jumper. She didn’t care. She just had to get away. Away from everyone. Away from the reasons she came to the bay. Running down the ramp onto the deserted beach, she sank onto the sand, pushing her back against the seawall, the rough concrete protecting her a little from the worst of the downpour.

Curling her fingers into fists, she tried to stop them from shaking. She shouldn’t be feeling like this. Ian, Brooke, Elsie even, they had the right to feel like this. Not her. She’d only delivered a message. A message that would have consequences for all involved. Her included.

Her ringtone shrieked through the roar of the ocean and the splash of rain against the promenade above, and Nina pulled it out of the back pocket of her jeans. Looking at the caller ID, Nina closed her eyes, waiting until it rang out, until silence surrounded her again, before she put it away. It had been her gran who had rung. She should have answered. She would be wondering how Ian took the news. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to her. To tell her everything would be okay when she wasn’t sure it would be.

Elsie had said the same thing. She’d said it would all be okay. Elsie didn’t know either. She was just guessing, hoping.

Bringing her knees to her chest, Nina balled her hands into fists again, lowering her head and pressing her fists against her eyes. She wanted to block it all out. She wanted to travel back in time, to not have told Ian. She wanted to stop them from telling anyone else. She wanted things to be how they had been this morning.

Crossing her arms, she leaned her head onto her arms and looked into the dark void she’d created. There was nothing she could do. She couldn’t undo the things she’d said, the messages she’d passed on. And she shouldn’t want to. Ian deserved to know; Brooke deserved to know. Everyone at the bakery and in the extended bakery family deserved to know. That was the only way Ian would get the support he needed to come to terms with what had happened.

She was being selfish. She knew she was. She was thinking of herself. She wanted to unsay the things she’d said because it would make her life easier, and that wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t be thinking of herself. Not now. Not with everything going on.

Closing her eyes, she kept herself still, small. She didn’t know how long she’d wait here. She didn’t know what the time was or how long she’d already been sitting there. When she opened her eyes again, the sun was setting, a deep orangey red glow disappearing beneath the horizon.

Should she go back now? Go back to the bakery and find out what was being said? Find out if they wanted her to leave? She leaned her head back against the concrete wall and focused on the rain cascading across her forehead, her cheeks, her nose. She’d go back in a bit. She’d just leave it a little while longer. She closed her eyes again.

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‘NINA? HECK, NINA, LOOKat you.’

Opening her eyes, Nina watched as Rowan ran up to her, sinking to his knees in front of her and shrugging out of his coat. She let herself be pulled gently away from the wall; she sat still while he wrapped his coat around her before lowering her back into position.

‘Have you been sitting here all this time? Everyone’s been looking for you.’

She felt the pads of his fingers against her cheeks as he carefully wiped her dripping hair away from her eyes.

‘Come on, let’s get you clean and dry. Can you stand up? I’ll take you back to the bakery and you can change out of these wet clothes.’

‘No. not the bakery.’ Her voice was croaky, her throat sore. She didn’t want to go back there. Not yet.

‘Okay, okay. Back to the pub then.’

Nodding, Nina let Rowan take her by the elbows and support her as he pulled her to standing.

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