I thought about it. The past few days had been freeing in a way that I hadn’t even realized I’d needed. Thad was an unmated draken, but he had control over his instincts and gave me all the space I wanted. Perhaps his draken didn’t evenwantme, since I was unable to have children.
The thought sent a wave of despair through me, but I pushed it away. I wouldn’t regret my choice. Even though drakens weren’tsupposedto be able to be bred by force, I knew the demons had been attempting to experiment their way around it. That’s why so many of the captive females had died, after all.I wasn't willing to take any chances at the time.
Perhaps it would have been better for all if Ihaddied.
Then Thad wouldn’t have triggered this war between the drakens, and threatened his peopleandthe children. He’d done it because I’d askedhim to take me away. To save me, like some damsel in distress.
I should have died like a warrior, like the other females.
I didn’t realize I was crying until Thadfrowned.“What’s wrong?”
He was careful not to touch me until I initiated it first, hovering over my shoulder. His generosity was overwhelming, and I didn’t know if I could stand it.
I wiped my eyes again.“You’re doing so much for me, and I don’t know why. I think...it would have been better for everyone if I would have just died below with everyone else.This whole mess is partially my fault."
He did touch me then—he grabbed me, his arms going around my back and hugging me to his chest with a ferocity that took my breath away. He fell to his knees, and pulled me with him. I couldn’t tell if the tightness in my chest was from his crushing grip or the pain in my heart.
“Neversay that." He hissed fiercely. "Lie to others if you must, but never lie to yourself.”
It all became too much. For the second time that night I cried, but this time I felt no shame in the act.I curled into his chest like a young drakling, but I realized it didn’tmatter, because Thad sawme. I didn’t have to be on my guard against my unmated status, or pretend to be the ice-queen warrior all the time. Here, I could just be Xana, whoever she was.
Perhaps I’d finally get the chance to figure that out.
I relaxed into him, my body and inner draken finally accepting that he was safe. The sudden changehad an immediate, unanticipated consequence.
Thad stiffened against me, his nostrils flared wide. His fingers dug hard into my back,and his wings burst through his back as his draken form forced itself to the forefront.
Ohfuck. My inner draken was at peace...it was happy...it was sending outmating pheromones. It wasn't evensupposed to do thatsince I was barren. I scrambled backwards, and Thad let go of me like I’d burned him.
“I—I have to go.”He stuttered.
Thadpractically fled the room, leaving me crouched awkwardly on the floor. I had to bark back a laugh at the ridiculous situation, because if I didn't find the humor I'd start sobbing again.
The feared demon king was running from me like a boy caught with his breeches down. Oh my.
I picked myself up, ignoring the image of a pantless Thad that flitted through my head.
Chapter 19
Wren
What started out as a bit of sparring between Benedict and I (and Enya as well, if we were honest) turned into an idea so unlikely that it just might work.
Enya had not been a fan of how my mates had instructed me in the art of fighting thus far—with only knife and sword play, and nothing of hand to hand combat. Benedict blushed, and muttered something about females and males having different training when it came to that.
So our daily sessions in front of the lava tube began.
All three of us were aware of the two pairs of eyes that watched us sweat and bleed most afternoons, but it was an unspoken rule that none of us would acknowledge them. I wasn’t sure what exactly we were hoping for, but it felt important so we kept at it.
Not to mention how much I was improving under another female’s guidance.
“Damn it, that almost got me!” Benedict hissed as he fell backwards on his ass, my knife missing his chest by only a hair. Enya cackled, and I grinned in triumph.
“You see? When you combine the proper physical formwiththe weapon, the results are much more satisfactory.Females are grace and movement! It's a completely different style than you males with your brutality and strength."
I grinned at my self-appointed teacher, then ducked as Benedict flipped over me, trying to catch me unawares. I quickly pivoted and secured him in a chokehold. The king of the drakens writhed and pushed, but to no effect. His massive frame and bulging muscles were of no use here.
Benedict sputtered, then tapped the ground next to me three times. I flashed my fangs in victory, and let go. He drew in a gasp of air and shot Enya a dirty look.