Page 35 of The Lost Nation

Love.

Their regard for me was a horrified fascination—a fear that had nothing to do with what love actually was. I was lucky enough to be able to know the difference thanks to my mother.

And Zara.Or at least, I had thought Zara loved me. Until she didn't.

“Still not over the pirate?"

I jerked as Harrow entered the room, not even glancing up from the report in his hands as he berated me.

I snarled.“Harrow! I’ve told you toknock—”

“Has the shine worn off the witch queen?” Harrow responded, and my jaw dropped.

“Excuse me? What do you—”

He slammed his papers down on my desk.“Yousawwhat happened to the heir to the Cantradian throne, right? Stripped from his birthright, and run out of his kingdom?"

My body dropped in my chair. “Thad ended up being half-demon, half-draken. Not human at all.” I argued weakly.

Harrow huffed.“As if that matters. They will thankful and appreciative of your magick for a few more weeks at least, then they will remember what you are.”

My hands balled into fists. “I would think my people have more regard for me that that.”

Harrow didn't bat an eye. “You’d think.”

I whipped my gaze to Harrow. “What do you think I should do then?"

He sighed, and laid the rest of his work on a table. “Pick one of the other two men you recently appointed to council, have an heir,thendo what you please.”

My thoughts wandered back to Ulf and Erik. Both had adjusted extremely quickly to life around the palace, even though the other nobles make their disdain quite clear. They couldn’t fully object though—both men were pure Aldurian through and through, and had proved their mettle through combat and wit. That was more than any ofmy court could boast.

Ulf was troublesome and had a quick mind. Easy to smile, and able to set anyone at ease with a simple grin and an anecdote. He was a worthy addition to my council, but hardly someone I was interested inthatway. But Erik…

I would be lying if I wasn’t a little miffed I’d never gotten my shot with the draken king. Erik seemed to be cut from the same cloth with a large build and a dark countenance. Those eyes though...they were two blue glaciers that could send any noble stuttering incoherently with a single glare. My maids lost their tongues and minds around him, and none of the older men wanted to contradict him. Perhaps…

“You’re considering it,” Harrow said mildly, sitting up abruptly. I felt the beginning of a headache twinge at my temple. Being queen wasn’t as nearly fun as I’d thought it would be.

“What would you have me do?” I asked tiredly. “I need to continue the line to produce our next leader. That will not happen betweenme and a...pirate."

Harrow offered me a goblet of wine, which I thankfully accepted. “Your parents certainly were no love match. Your father had a score of women on the side, and even your mother had her particular tastes.”

Bile rose from my throat like it always did anytime someone mentioned them. The image of my father’s bloodied body rose before my eyes, reaching out to me in panic as I stood shocked and unable to move. His blood ran down the steps and stained the edges of my gown. I blinked and he became my mother, stabbing herself in the heart as I screamed.

And screamed.

I dug my nails into my palms, the pain bringing me back to reality. As usual, Harrow hadn’t noticed the discomfort his casual mention of my parents caused. No one ever did.

“I will see you later.” I muttered.

Harrow looked up, but I was already gone down the hallway. I wanted to be alone to think—to go somewhere untouched by the memories of my father and mother.

I found myself ascending the tower to the abandoned south wing, still untouched by renovations since the Demon Wars. I didn't know why, but the dust and quiet called to me. I carefully made my way through the debris with my silk slippers, stepping onto the stone window ledge and gazing out at the city below.

“I didn’t think I’d seeyouhere.”

He must have known he’d startle me, because his hand was around my waist to pull me back before I fell. I twisted around in his arms, and when he let go as water dripped down his arms and stained his tunic.

I blushed. “Uh...sorry. That happens sometimes when I’m surprised.”

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