Page 14 of The Forty-Year-Old Virgin Witch

Damon screeched and jumped out of my satchel, clawing up my back until he was up on my shoulder. I hissed in pain and glared at everyone around me. Hadn’t I already mentioned how I didn’t have the energy for this today? Perhaps not out loud.

Luka smiled charmingly as he grabbed another chair from an empty table and sat down backward at our table.

“Sup?”

With a great amount of effort, Karl drew his fangs back in. “Besides your body odor, you mean?”

Luka rolled his eyes. “At least it means I’m alive, which is—”

“If you make one joke about necrophilia—”

I stood, snatching my satchel and a sandwich. I’d nearly gotten half a block before either of them realized I was gone.

“Hey! Sorry! I didn’t mean to ruin your lunch!”Luka apolgoized, trying to catch up to me.

“Yet here we are—”Karl sneered, appearing a split second later at my side.

“SHUT IT, BOTH OF YOU.”

Both of their mouths clamped shut, and they stood like young boys about to be chastised.

“I … I think I’d like to get to know both of you, but not if you’re constantly going to bicker. The moment you start, I’m going to send you away. Got it?”

They nodded mutely, though still shooting each other glares. Karl pointed at Luka.

“He promised not to sabotage—”

“Is what you’re about to say a tattle?” I sneered. It was like dealing with children!

Karl’s lips tightened into a thin line, and he didn’t say anything further. Damon rumbled a warning growl from my shoulder, but I barely heard it. Magick was leaking out of me without any real direction or control, and I was too weak to try to contain it. I swayed on my feet, and Luka and Karl’s demeanors changed instantly.

“I can carry her home.”Luka insisted.

“I’ll ensure everyone is out of the way. She also needs groceries.”Karl added.

Luka nodded in agreement. “I can stop by the market after I get her home. Make sure she rests?”

The boys moved together like a well-oiled machine despite being at each other’s throats mere seconds ago. Luka scooped me up easily as if I were a small doll, and I was too sleepy to protest. He curled me against his chest, with one arm under my knees and the other around my back. I yawned, and Damon jumped to the ground.

“I don’t need—”I protested.

“You’re half-unconscious; don’t be ridiculous.” Karl’s tone left no room for disagreement, and as I pressed myself into the solid chest before me I couldn't help but notice that Luka smelled nice.

I relaxed against him, inhaling the scent of the forest. Pine trees, cedarwood, and a slight trace of smoke lingered against my nose. It soothed the anxiety in my soul; the witch in me was always at peace in the woods. My eyes felt heavy, and I could hear Karl already making excuses to the few others who had seen my little episode. Normally I would have cared about that, but Karl seemed to have it well in hand, and I did sort of agree to let him help me.

“Sleep, little witch.”

Luka’s voice tickled against my ear, and I wiggled slightly against him. He gave an odd sort of pleased growl, tucking me tighter against him. It was nice having people take care of you. I yawned again and fell asleep.

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