Page 34 of Doctor Grump

Nor was it the reason why I carried her to bed afterward and lay next to her for hours going into the night.

That was probably the worst part about the whole thing.

Neither of us said anything as I carried her, but I felt her run her hands over my chest, the movement a soft, gentle caress. And it did something to me, sent some unidentifiable response deep inside me, something way too deep and intimate for a simple fuck.

I didn’t like it. This was supposed to be just about sex, a mistaken drunken one-night stand that probably never should have happened. There weren’t supposed to be any emotions involved at all. Emotions complicated everything.

And I didn’t want that. I was very sure I didn’t want that.

So why the fuck did I carry her upstairs? Why did I gently place her in her bed and lie next to her for minutes, listening to her breathe? Why did I feel the sudden, inexplicable urge to draw her soft warmth against my body?

Damn it. I should get out of here, and I should do it now.

But before I did, she whispered, “It’s okay. I get it. I know what this was.”

“You do?” I pondered.

“Yeah. I don’t make a habit of having one-night stands, but I know what it is when I see it. You don’t have to worry that I’ll somehow fall in love with you or anything.”

There it was. The hint of something in her voice that could have been hurt. She wasn’t rejecting me. She was preemptively rejecting herself because she thought that was why I didn’t want to be with her. She thought it was because of her and not my own fucked up self.

Shit, I thought. I had messed up even more than I had thought. I hadn’t meant to hurt her, especially after everything she had done for me. Using her for sex had been a dick move.

And possibly what made me an even bigger dick was the fact that I pulled her into my arms, hating the defeatedness in her tone. I held her against me, feeling her body melting into mine, and sighed because of how good it felt. Shit.

I had no clue what I was doing here, but I wanted to be doing it for as long as possible.

Sometime during the night, after I felt her fall asleep in my arms, I finally pulled myself away and returned to my room before Kendy could catch me. I didn’t want my daughter to see me with her nanny. It was too confusing, and beyond that, I could see that my daughter was starting to care for Piper a lot. I didn’t want to jeopardize that with a silly fling.

Which meant that this was the last time it could ever happen, and I had to be firm with myself. I couldn’t avoid Piper any longer since that would mean not spending time with my daughter, but I had to find a way to turn this maddening desire off or find some other way to deal with it because I wasn’t going to give in to it again. There could be nothing besides platonic friendship between Piper and me.

And that was how it had to be.

* * *

“Doc,is there something going on with you?” Monty asked during his therapy session the next day. He was leaning back in his chair, smiling mischievously.

“Have you been taking your meds?” I asked deftly, avoiding the question. Monty’s perceptiveness was very irritating at times because, as a former Marine, he was very good at reading people and situations. I had come into the office early, trying to drown out my thoughts with work, and I thought I made a good go at pretending. That was until Monty came in and, as usual, sensed my moods. Even worse, he seemed to enjoy pushing my buttons.

“Nope,” Monty said in response to my question. “I’ve told you that I don’t need them anymore. I’m sleeping well now, especially with my beautiful wife and son next to me.”

“Mhmm,” I said. “But you’re not supposed to stop them suddenly. I’m supposed to wean you off them.”

“Yeah yeah, I know the drill. But I’m off it now, so what are you gonna do?” He shrugged in that devil-may-care manner of his. “More importantly, Doc, I’m worried about you.”

“Why?” I shouldn’t have asked, but the question slipped out of me before I could stop myself.

“Because. You live a pretty stressful life, am I right? I barely see you out of the office, and I’ve been around. You’re here at 7 a.m. every day.”

“You spying on me?”

“Nah. Just asked your secretary. I worry about you, you know, buddy. That much stress is not good for you. You need a way of relieving it, I think.” He smiled again, wiggling his eyebrows. “Or maybe you’ve already found it.”

“Funny,” I scoffed. “Unfortunately, your sessions are not to talk about my sex life.”

“Ah, so there was sex involved.” He seemed delighted. “Who’s the lucky lady? Do I know her? Man, I bet all the unmarried hopefuls around town will be pretty devastated when they hear the news.”

“I’m sure you’ll be there as a shoulder for them to cry on.”

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