“But what is it?”
This is the first question Keita asks once I explain to him the situation with Ixa. As usual, we’re sitting under our nystria tree, enjoying what little time we have between now and dinner. Ixa stalks through the branches above us, pouncing on the leaves like they’re tiny animals. Keita watches him, a frown on his face.
“A shapeshifter of some sort, I told you,” I repeat.
“And if you found it near the deathshriek nest, why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrug. “Because you would have told me to get rid of him,” I say, looking up at Ixa. Warmth spreads through me when he chirps suspiciously at a leaf. Or perhaps it’s because of how close I am to Keita.
We’re seated side by side now, our bodies touching from arm to feet. If I wanted, I could reach out and lean my head on his shoulder, ruffle his closely shorn hair, and look into his eyes. But of course I do nothing of the sort. Even though I feel bolder with him when we’re here, under our tree, I’m still not that bold.
He nods. “You’re right, I would say that.” He turns his head towards me. “You have to be careful, Deka, that thing is—”
“—a child, an innocent child, all alone in the world?”
“An oddity. Something most of us have never seen before. You have to be careful of oddities, Deka. Sometimes, they can be dangerous things. Sometimes, their mere existence makes them dangerous.” The way he looks at me sideways makes me know he’s not just talking about Ixa.
I sigh, looking up at my new pet. “I’ll keep him hidden,” I finally say, knowing I’m not just talking about Ixa.
“See that you do.” Then he turns to me, a hesitant expression on his face. “Deka, about your karmoko…the Lady of the Equus.”
I frown. “What about her?”
“I asked my commanders if they knew of her, and as it turns out, she’s quite…notorious. There are whispers that she’s in charge of the emperor’s special assignments.” He takes a breath, looks down at me. “She breeds monsters for him, Deka.”
My heart skips a beat. “Monsters?”
Every question I’ve ever had comes rushing back.
Monsters…
The word plays a sickening refrain in my head all night, forcing me to realize I’ve been too complacent these past few months. White Hands promised me the answers I sought, but what if she’s the source of all my questions? The way she appeared so mysteriously at Irfut, rescuing me from my months of torture. The way she seems to know all sorts of things about me. Am I one of the monsters she made for the emperor? Is Ixa? It was all too convenient, his presence in that pond.
And what about me? Mother was pregnant before she and Father ever met. Did White Hands have a hand in creating me – some sort of alaki breeding project? If I accept that she made Ixa, then it’s possible she made me, possible I’m some sort of shapeshifter as well. That could be why my eyes sometimes change, why I look like Father, even though there’s no way he’s my true parent. But if that’s the case, why allow him to raise me? Or allow me to live in Irfut as long as I did?
Round and round my thoughts go until strange footsteps enter the room. I bolt upright, then almost as quickly calm. It’s Gazal. She’s approaching my bed, a set of new robes in her hand. She must have been sent by White Hands. I choke back a bitter laugh at the irony. Think of the infernal, and it’ll appear to you – there’s a good reason for that saying.
I search around for Ixa, but thankfully, he’s nowhere to be found. He must be hunting, as he often does during the night.
“The Lady of the Equus requests your presence,” Gazal says, throwing the robes at me. “Rise. Now.”
Beside me, Britta stirs, her eyes widening when she notices Gazal. “Wha’s happening?” she asks worriedly.
“Everything’s fine,” I say, reassuring her. “White Hands is asking for me.”
“Don’t let her make ye do anything strange so early,” she warns before turning over with a yawn. “Last week, she had us sparring in the lake in full armour. Nearly drowned a couple of times…” The rest of her words are muffled by her pillow.
“I won’t,” I promise as I put on my robes.
Darkness is still surrounding the Warthu Bera when Gazal and I walk outside, a velvet cloak I can almost reach out and touch. The torches are still burning, and the lights of Hemaira flicker dimly in the distance. Exactly how early is it? I wonder. I know better than to ask Gazal this question. She’s a surly shadow leading me to our destination, one of the more remote buildings at the edge of the Warthu Bera’s hill.
White Hands is waiting inside when we enter, a plain torch in her hand. The darkness seems to gather sinisterly around her. I try not to show my unease.
“Morning greetings, Karmoko.” Gazal and I bow.
“Morning greetings,” White Hands replies. Then she nods to Gazal. “My thanks, novice,” she says. “You may continue to the next task.”
Gazal bows again and exits, slipping away as quietly as she came. Now it’s just White Hands and me. She glances at me. “I can feel your thoughts scurrying,” she says. “Out with it, Deka.”