Page 35 of The Gilded Ones

It’s still dark by the time I emerge – only a few dim torches light our path. Even then, it’s nice and warm, the early morning air balmy with the scent of exotic flowers. For a moment, I remain where I am, savouring the feeling. Sunrise was always chilly in Irfut. This heat should be uncomfortable for a Northerner like me, but somehow, it feels perfect.

The umbra carved into the archway seems to glare at me as I walk under it, a reminder that I have to read the Heraldry of Shadows to discover whatever I can about Mother’s past. I make a mental note to ask Jeneba where it is. She seems nice, compared to the other novices.

Karmoko Thandiwe is standing calmly before the statue of Emperor Gezo, Gazal at her side, when we reach the courtyard. The novice has one hand behind her back and the other across her heart in rigid military posture. She looks even more intimidating now than she did when she woke us up this morning.

“Good morning, neophytes,” Karmoko Thandiwe calls out, that muscular body ramrod straight, red-clay braids gleaming in the darkness. “I hope you’ve had a good sleep.”

We look at each other. “Yes, Karmoko,” we reply.

Karmoko Thandiwe smiles. “Still not quite right.”

Gazal steps forward and slams her folded hand across her heart. “Neophytes, when in the presence of the karmokos, stand at attention!” She demonstrates. “Back straight, right hand across heart, left behind back!”

We quickly do as we’re told, Jeneba checking us to ensure our compliance. The other novices assigned to the different common bedrooms help their own portions of the line. As they inspect us, I see movement in the upper windows. The matrons are watching. This, apparently, is entertainment for them.

Once we’re all standing at attention, Karmoko Thandiwe addresses us: “In order to be warriors, you must be strong in body and spirit. That starts with running. Every morning.”

My eyes bulge.

Running?

Women aren’t allowed to run in Otera. Any girl caught walking faster than a sedate pace is whipped for her insolence. “Light and graceful are the footsteps of the pure woman,” the Infinite Wisdoms cautions. The reminder sends a subtle nausea roiling through my stomach.

“Let’s go, neophytes!” Gazal barks, jolting me from my thoughts. “Move it!”

She demonstrates by jogging down the path at a quick, steady pace, the other novices behind her. The other neophytes and I tentatively do the same, huffing and puffing as we struggle to control our breathing and the burning in our leg muscles. By the time Gazal finally stops at the bottom of the first hill, I’m so exhausted I lurch over, hands on my knees to steady myself.

“All right, neophytes,” Gazal barks, seeming almost energized now as she addresses us. “Your bodies should be fully warm. Time to double the pace!” She darts back up the hill, moving even faster than before.

I shake my head, horrified. “I can’t go any faster,” I rasp to Britta between breaths. “My legs are on fire.”

Britta’s breathing is just as ragged as mine. “Me neither.”

“Oh, stop complaining,” Adwapa proclaims breezily, running past us.

She and her sister are the only ones who seem unfazed by the fact that we’re running. Then again, they’re Nibari – their tribe only ever pretends to obey the Infinite Wisdoms when priests or emissaries venture into their deserts. At least, that’s what Mother always told me.

There must be truth to her words, because Adwapa’s almost skipping as she declares, “It’s only a light run. Back home, we used to run for miles.”

“In the heat,” Asha adds. “On top of mountains.”

“Then why don’t ye just run yer arses back to yer mountains and leave us here to die,” Britta snaps. Then she wheezes, instantly regretful. “I’m sorry, I didna mean that. I’m so tired. I think I’m going to die me first almost death from this.”

I nod in weary agreement. “That’s the truth if I’ve ever heard it,” I say, reluctantly beginning to run again.

This second round is even worse than the first, my muscles blistering under the pace. To my astonishment, however, the longer I run, the easier it gets. It’s almost as if my muscles are gaining power, stretching to their fullest potential. Soon, my discomfort is a thing of the past as I zip up and down the hills, my feet barely touching the ground. The scenery around me begins to ripple – soft, shimmering waves, as if the trees are underwater. Air distorts, sounds become more distinct – I’ve stepped into a completely different world, one where everything is sharpened to brightest clarity.

I grin from ear to ear when a dewdrop descends slowly before me, its crystalline beauty easily perceptible with my sharpened vision. I’ve never felt this happy before. Never felt this free.

“Is this what birds feel like?” Britta shouts excitedly. “No wonder they never wanted us to run.”

And I stumble, the reminder as piercing as an arrow. The Infinite Wisdoms forbids running, as it does most things that don’t prepare girls for marriage and serving their families. Girls can’t shout, drink, ride horses, go to school, learn a trade, learn to fight, move about without a male guardian – we can’t do anything that doesn’t somehow relate to having a husband and family or serving them. Elder Durkas always told us that’s because the Infinite Wisdoms were trying to show us how to live happy, righteous lives.

What if they were meant to cage us instead?

I force the thought back, guilt flooding through me. The way of the faithful is trust and submission – how many times has Elder Durkas told us that? I may not understand it now, but Oyomo has a greater plan for me. All I have to do is submit and have faith.

Even though I’m here, doing things that go against the teachings, I have to believe that Oyomo understands my heart, that he sees that I’m trying my best to be faithful.

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