Page 78 of The Gilded Ones

Her answer infuriates me. “I don’t have time for circular replies,” I grit out. “I’m changing, Karmoko.

“You said I wasn’t a monster, but am I some sort of deathshriek half-breed?” The words wrench out of me, a newly sprouted fear I almost can’t bear to voice.

“A what?” White Hands barks out a laugh. “No, you are certainly not that.”

“Then what am I? Explain why I keep having all these changes!”

“Because you keep using your power. Every time you use it, it grows, changes things around you.”

Now a thought occurs to me – one that fills me with terror. “And my friends? Will I affect them? Will they start changing too?” I whisper.

White Hands shakes her head. “That won’t happen. You’re the only one with the voice. You’re the only one with the ability.” White Hands turns back towards the city. “And besides, there’s nothing you can do to stop it – not at this time, anyway.”

She seems so certain, I have a sudden realization. “You’ve witnessed this before, haven’t you?” I gasp. “There are more girls like me! That’s how you came up with the lessons, learning how to master the combat state!” I can imagine it now, an entire army of girls with the ability to control deathshrieks. I walk closer to her, pleading: “Who are they? Where are they?”

When White Hands finally glances at me, her expression is firm. “That should not be your concern at the moment. For now, listen to my words. Use your power only in the dark, when the jatu can’t see you, and wear full armour. And try to surround yourself with your friends whenever you use it. Should a jatu catch a glimpse of your change, laugh it off and suggest that his eyes are playing tricks on him. Never forget: the same gift they praise you for now, they will kill you for later.”

Her words are so similar to Belcalis’s, my insides turn cold. I always knew there was more to White Hands than met the eye, more to the plans she has for me, but this is beyond what I ever imagined.

“But you brought me here,” I whisper, fear rising. “You’re the one who gave me this purpose.”

She nods. “And I intend for you to survive long enough to fulfil it, which is why you must understand – truly – how fickle your position is. The jatu, my cousin the emperor, and his courtiers – they’ll all love you now, when there are deathshrieks to conquer. The moment that changes, they’ll remember that you’re a woman. That you’re unnatural… That is how they are. That is always how such men are.”

“Tell me how I stop this,” I beg. I don’t want to be part of this, whatever it is White Hands is plotting. I just want to survive. Glory, honour – those are for other people. “Tell me how I make it go away.”

“You can’t.” White Hands’s eyes are deadly serious, no trace of amusement in them now. “You will continue training, you will harness your power, develop it until it becomes so strong, no one can stand in your way. In our way.”

“White Hands…” I say, horrified. I know now she’s not talking about the alaki regiment, or even the army. She’s talking about something else, something far more deadly. Rebellion… That’s what she means when she talks about gathering power so she can be stronger than the men who command her. Including the emperor of Otera himself.

This is all a game to her – the realization sticks in my throat. This is one of those deadly games the rich, the powerful, play. And I’m just a pawn she brought to serve her. Just like all the assistants and matrons scurrying around the Warthu Bera.

“White Hands, I—”

She places a gauntleted finger to my lips, cutting me off. Her eyes gleam with an expression I can’t even fathom now. She leans closer. “There are no others like you, Deka. You should know that. There never have been, and there will never be.”

As I gape, her words settling under my skin, she continues her warning. “Hide your changes from the jatu. Keep yourself safe, Deka. And always keep your pet with you.”

I look down at Ixa, horror rising inside me. Has he always been part of her plan as well? All my suspicions about how I found him – perhaps they really are true. He blinks, not understanding what’s happening.

“I have explained to the other karmokos and the jatu that he is a new type of creature I have been breeding in secret. That should keep them satisfied for now. I am the procurer of monsters, after all. You see, you were wrong in that regard, Deka. I don’t breed monsters for the emperor, I find them. Find the creatures this empire deems impure, undesirable, dangerous…”

Dread swells inside me. “What is Ixa?” I know she knows. She knows everything. Hides everything.

“He’s a shapeshifter,” White Hands says. “That’s all you need to know at present.”

My thoughts whirl, each one more frightening than the next. What she said about the jatu, Ixa… “Why are you being so secretive?” I plead. “Why won’t you answer my questions?”

“Because you won’t understand the answers – not at this moment, not as you are. All you need to know is that you’re not unnatural, or whatever other horrific supposition you’ll now have running through your mind. Neither is your pet, for that matter. You need to remain with each other and to keep from attracting any attention long enough to get through the campaign. We’re almost there, almost to the finish. You just have to survive till then, till our empire is free from those monsters. Then I will tell you everything, make you see what all this was for. Do you understand?”

I nod, at a loss for how else to respond. “I understand,” I say, despair rising inside me. Just as I was beginning to think I could trust White Hands. Now I see that she’s just like all the others – worse, even. A spider on a web, dangling threads that I have no idea how to connect. Ixa, the combat state, my gift – all things she’s nurtured to suit a rebellion.

But whose? And why?

Till our empire is free from those monsters… What was she referring to with those words? Was it the deathshrieks…or the men who send us out to battle them? I quickly drive the thought to the depths of my mind, terrified by the implications.

I’m just a soldier, I remind myself. Such things are above me.

White Hands nods, then turns back towards the city. “What a lovely view,” she says.

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