Page 51 of The Gilded Ones

Suddenly now, I remember the scars on Belcalis’s back, the ones that once massed over each other, like a map. They’ve faded now, but I’ll never forget them. Never forget that she suffered just as much as I did.

Belcalis nods curtly and White Hands continues: “For the meantime, keep Deka’s secret between this group. Only you and the karmokos know, and we would like to keep it that way for now.”

When the others nod, giving their word, she picks up a sword, considers it. “Now, then…which one of you wants to attempt me?”

“Tell me about your dreams, Deka,” White Hands says.

It’s our fourth day of lessons at the lake. Our usual no-holds-barred combat has ended, and Britta, Belcalis and Gazal have returned to Main Hall, but White Hands asked me to stay afterwards, though she wouldn’t tell me why. White Hands is very good at not answering questions. I should know, I’ve pestered her with enough of them. All she ever tells me is that she’ll explain everything in good time, which is sometime before the campaign ends.

I suppose I just have to be satisfied with that for now. I could ask Karmoko Thandiwe instead, but I have the feeling she won’t know anything near what White Hands does.

“My dreams?” I finally echo, confusion building. What do my dreams have to do with anything?

“You’ve been having nightmares,” she says. “Recurring dreams as well.” When she sees my shocked expression, she shrugs, smiles. “Don’t look so worried. All alaki have such dreams. The unnatural ones especially. Tell me about yours.”

I clear my throat, embarrassed. “It always starts in the ocean – at least it feels like an ocean,” I begin. “It’s dark, but there are these…presences there. I don’t know if they’re different or all one thing, but they call to me.”

“What do they say?”

“My name. They say my name, and they beckon me towards this…door. It’s golden, all shining.” I turn to her, biting my lip now. Almost afraid to speak.

“What is it, Deka?” she prompts.

“They use my mother’s voice,” I whisper. “When they call to me, they use Mother’s voice. But I know it’s not her. Mother’s dead. Gone.” The words surface some of that old pain, and I rub my chest to soothe it.

White Hands nods, seems deep in thought. “The door – have you ever been through it?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Never.”

She turns to me, a strange expression on her face. “This time, when they call you, go,” she says.

I frown. “But I don’t control when the dreams—”

A sharp pain pricks my neck. All I see is the faint smile on White Hands face as she says, “Remember, when they call you – go.”

Then everything turns dark.

Complete blackness, an ocean of warmth. It’s the same as always, the same place I’ve been seeing ever since Mother died. Something stirs inside it, vast and ancient, but I’m not frightened. I’ve met it countless times before, felt its presence rolling inside me.

“Deka…” it calls, a rumbling in the waters.

It sounds almost like Mother.

But it’s not her. It’s lying to me, using Mother’s voice like that. I swim in the other direction, trying to get away from it. Then gold suddenly shimmers, a door opening behind me.

“Deka…” the voice comes again, pleading this time.

It scratches a memory, a reminder of something important I’m forgetting. Something about that door. I turn, and there it is, golden and shining, growing bigger and bigger until it completely blocks my field of vision.

Enter it, Deka… The words filter, almost eerily, into my mind. An order.

I obey it now, swimming closer and closer to the gold until the door swallows me up and there’s nothing left but that beautiful colour washing over me.

You can wake up now, Deka.

I gasp awake, obeying White Hands’s voice, only to realize I’ve only done so halfway. I’m not really awake, and I’m not really here. That’s the only explanation of why everything suddenly glows so brightly. It’s dark around me, but all the living things glow – the plants, the insects, the trees. It’s almost as if there’s a halo over everything, a shimmering, mystical light. I turn to White Hands. She’s standing beside me, a brilliant white flame in the darkness, her entire body illuminated.

“What do you see?” she asks, her voice seeming to come from afar.

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