Page 76 of Snowbound in Her Boss's Bed

“And if you lose it, I have more than enough money to take care of you until you got a new one. You’re a brilliant woman, Miri. You don’t need the foundation.”

“You’ll take care of me?” she demanded, voice rising. “I’m just supposed to put my trust in Benjamin Silver to take care of me if I lose my job? Why would I do that? You’re not my dad. You’re not my husband. When all is said and done, you’re a man I barely know. And like I told you, I do need the foundation. I need the foundation more than a man like you is probably capable of understanding, and what’s more, I want it.”

“I want you,” he snapped, and could swear he heard her mouth shut. “And you want me,” he continued. “It’s outrageous for us to ignore that because of the foundation.”

“And what about because it’s what we agreed to do? Or do you want me more than you care about me?”

How could she ask that? he wondered.

Had he not just spent days revealing in small and large ways just how much he cared for her?

He had shared his family traditions with her, for God’s sake.

“I want you because I care about you, Miri,” he insisted. “More than any woman before you.”

“Or do you just want me more than any other woman because you can’t have me and it’s driving you crazy? We had a deal, Benjamin. Only until the storm passes. You wouldn’t be saying any of this if it didn’t have an expiration date.”

He heard desperation in her voice as she spoke but could not decipher its root.

Was she desperate he believe her, or was she desperate to believe herself?

Because there was a question, he could not backtrack.

If she simply did not share the same intensity of desire for him, that would be one thing, but he knew she did.

He saw it in her eyes whenever he looked at her.

He felt it when he was inside her.

But like he had been, she was afraid.

“That’s a lie and I think we both know it, Miri. You’re afraid.”

“I’m not afraid,” she rasped. “I’m practical. No matter how many times we make love, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a single woman living in an expensive city. It’s misogynistic of you to ask me to put my stability at risk just because you don’t want to stop fooling around, but I wouldn’t expect you to realize that.”

“Misogynistic? Come on, Miri. Don’t be ridiculous. We both know that misogyny is the furthest thing from my mind when we touch, just like your refusal isn’t about misogyny right now. You’re just afraid to get hurt. You got hurt once a long time ago and just like me, now you’re too afraid of getting hurt again to tell the truth. You’re afraid to put your heart on the line.”

She gasped in the dark and for all that he regretted them now, he knew his words had hit their mark. She had wielded truth gently when she’d pointed it out to him.

He’d used it like a baseball bat.

When she finally spoke, her voice was rough. “The only thing I know is on your mind when you touch me is sex, Benjamin. Nothing special or romantic or lasting, just sex. You don’t want me, Benjamin, you just want to keep having sex with me, and only then until you inevitably get tired of it, like you’ve gotten tired of every other woman you’ve had sex with. You said it yourself, you don’t want kids, you don’t want a family, you don’t believe there’s a woman out there you can share your burdens with, and you don’t want people making demands on your time or distracting you from your work. That means you don’t really want me because I am the kind of person who wants all of those things. You only want me because I’m here. We’d both be fools to pretend like it’s anything else. That’s why even now you’re not asking for anything real or a legitimate relationship. You just want me to continue being your secret lover, your mistress, and you know what, I’m finding that that’s something I’m just not interested in.” She punctuated the last by sliding out the bed.

Not expecting the movement, he reached for her too late. “Miri, where are you going?”

“Back to my room. I’m suddenly not feeling as comfortable as I was,” she said, her words stiff and tight.

Panicking, he swung his legs out of the bed himself, standing on the opposite side of the bed from her, as naked as the day he was born. “I’ll walk you,” he said lamely.

He didn’t need to see her to know she shook her head. The negation was clear in her voice. “I’ll find it on my own, thanks. I know the way by now.”

“Miri...” he started, but didn’t know what else to say.

“What, Benjamin? Am I wrong? Did I get the wrong impression here? Are you asking me to be the kind of woman you can share your traditions and start a family with? Do you want me enough to commit to more than sleeping together? Are you willing to risk loving me?”

All of the peace and heat and certainty he’d felt lying beside her, listening to her breath—along with his own breath—fled him.

Abruptly clammy and chilled, the sinking in him now an echo of what he’d felt upon learning of his family’s death, he reached an arm toward her voice in the darkness but could do no more.

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