Page 41 of Pregnant After One Forbidden Night

But Jenna wasn’t ready for that, not really. Yes, she was dutiful and hardworking and had diligently mastered all of the required skills, but until Sebastian, her eyes had been solely trained on bigger prizes and shinier dreams.

They still were, if she were being honest, even if she had tarnished those dreams.

Obviously, there was no way she could go back to her old life now that she was pregnant, she knew that, despite the fact that the queen and Hel and even the king had called multiple times, mortifyingly leaving the message with Jenna’s mother that her position was still available to her and that the king had had no right to fire her. But even if Jenna had been sorely tempted to take the queen up on her generosity, it was out of the question now.

Her pride had begun failing on that point, but her pregnancy had come in to shore it up. There was no going back. How would her coworkers ever trust in her again?

The queen remained on the island where the Summer Palace was based, leaving Helene off duty for the time being, free to help transition all of the assets and fortunes of the d’Tierrza family to her new husband’s long-lost Andros family name.

Jenna had spoken with Helene one time since leaving the capital—when she’d safely returned from her stolen adventure, and as glad as Jenna was that Helene was back safely, that she had the wonderful and utterly shocking news to share that she’d fallen in love and married, talking to her friend had been like pouring acid in her wounds, reminding her of the depth of all she’d lost and leaving her drained, sad and lonely.

But even if she couldn’t return to her old life, even if the specifics of it barely even existed anymore, she could still find a relevant future for herself and child.

Unfortunately, she was also deeply cognizant of the fact that, even with all her skills, training and experience, given her condition, she didn’t have many options. She was a professional security woman and her résumé reflected that, but she had a feeling that, regardless of what the law said, potential employers would quickly look over her when they found out she was expecting.

Nobody wanted a pregnant security guard, regardless of whether or not she was fully equipped to do the job.

Well...maybe not fully equipped. But she could cope as long as she didn’t get the morning shift.

Dr. Milano had assured her, though, that she didn’t have much to worry about when it came to the activity level of her chosen profession at her last appointment.

“Should I stop or pull back on my fitness and practice regimen?” she’d asked.

“No,” the doctor had said with a sound somewhere between a snort and a cough. “That’d be like quitting training in anticipation of a marathon!” The doctor had laughed again at the last word, as if the idea was true comedy.

If Jenna hadn’t known the doctor so well, she might have felt like she was being made fun of.

“I’d heard pregnant women needed to rest,” Jenna had said.

Shaking their head, Dr. Milano had said, “Not in general. My advice is to maintain your current level of activity. Your body will tell you when to be delicate with yourself. Otherwise keep fit. You’ve got one of the biggest workouts of your life ahead of you.”

The doctor had laughed again and though Jenna knew the comment was meant in fun, she’d found it mildly irritating, nonetheless.

It was a lot of anticipatory pressure.

As was the endless barrage of decisions she needed to make.

Standing beside the doorway, just before she stepped out into the minefield that was her situation with Sebastian, she let the weight of just how worn-out she was settle over her shoulders, if only for a moment.

It was a bone-deep tiredness that had settled over her the second she’d identified the king’s voice in the library and stayed with her ever since—through packing, through the drive home, that first night back in her old bedroom, through the doctor’s visit when she’d learned she was pregnant alone—and there was no sign of rest in sight.

Not if she was going to become a mother.

There would be a birth—the biggest workout of her life, apparently—and then an entire new human to care for, a new livelihood to find and maintain, and all of it on her shoulders alone, because despite his words about commitment, the plain fact was that Sebastian had stormed away when things had not gone his way. She had to assume he might do so again in the future.

Far away from the d’Tierrza library, outside the capital and the wealth and the speed, no powerful attraction or flowery internal voice could convince her that she had any kind of future with Sebastian.

He was a duke—stupidly handsome—and one of the wealthiest and most dangerous men in the nation.

Men like him didn’t end up with Priory girls, and besides, he’d already made it abundantly clear that marriage was not on the table between them.

Priory girls married nice men who enjoyed children and got softer with age.

Jenna couldn’t even picture Sebastian in the same room as a child.

She could not recall ever seeing him occupy the same space as one. Not once, in all her time in the capital.

And as far as softening went, well, age would only make him tougher and leaner. With age, he would dry and tighten, his senses growing keener, his skin thinner, his patience lessening.

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