Page 28 of Chaos & Carnage

“What can I do to help you?” I plead, reaching out to wrap my hands around both of his.

Something shifts in his gaze, then he shakes his head. “You’ve already done so much for me, Sawyer. Too much.” He gestures toward the back door of the house. “You have them now, and you’re… happy.”

Squeezing his hand tightly, I hold his gaze with mine, imbuing every bit of love into them. “You are and always will be my first priority. It’s always been just us. There might be a bigger team around us now, but it will always be you and me.” The shadows lift somewhat from his eyes as he smiles.

“Just you and me, huh?”

I smile brightly. “Always, kid.”

“And the four hunks of steel and muscle you’ve surrounded yourself with.” I don’t say anything, and he continues. “You sure go all out, don’t you? Couldn’t just find yourself one giant asshole to date, you had to get four of them.”

Snorting, I watch as the last of the shadows dissipate from behind Luc’s eyes, and I take in the first full breath since I sat down beside him. “Given our last conversation, I was surprised you didn’t tell Dante and Enzo to go to hell yesterday.”

He shrugs. “Figured since they helped find you and keep you safe, I could bite my tongue for one day.”

I have to squash the smile threatening to lift the corners of my lips. “Right.”

“I still don’t trust them, though.”

A smile breaks free and I chuckle. “God, you sound just like Cain.”

I notice the barely perceptible straightening of Luc’s spine, like it makes him proud to be compared to Cain, and something warms in my chest even as I wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself in for if Luc has decided Cain is his male role model. Couldn’t he have chosen to take on Oliver’s reasonable disposition rather than Cain’s hot-headedness?

“I’m not worried,” I tell him honestly. “They’ll earn your trust, just like they earned mine and are earning Cain’s and Oliver’s.”

A comfortable silence falls between us as we both stare out across the yard before I change the topic. “Did you ask Evie about that movie?”

“Not yet.”

“Marcus says he’s seen the two of you talking.”

A small shrug before he says, “Even though what happened with her was… different, it feels like she understands.”

I nod in understanding, giving his hand another squeeze. “Only you and Evie know what it was like in that tower. I’m glad you have each other and that you feel like you can talk to her. Just remember, there isn’t a single person in this house who wouldn’t understand. Bones and the others, they get it too. Whatever it is you need in order to move past this and come out stronger, no one will judge or question you for it.”

“I’ve asked Bones, Tank, and Rampage to train me,” he begins. “I know Bones has been teaching me to fight, but I want to know more. I want to be able to defend myself, to know how to fight back, to be able to use a gun and wield a knife.”

“Good.” His eyebrows lift in surprise at my blunt tone. “I shouldn’t have shielded you from all of that,” I confess. “I should have taught you what I knew, shown you the basics. Maybe if I had…” I trail off, and it’s Luc’s turn to comfort me as he turns his hand over in mine and squeezes it.

“You were trying to give me a childhood. Youdidgive me a childhood.” His lips purse, and he swallows audibly. “But this is war, and after what happened, I don’t want to be used as a pawn against you—against any of you. I never want to be defenseless at someone else’s mercy again. I—I…”

“You won’t be.” I imbue every word with that promise. “Train with the kids. Learn. Become an unstoppable force. Don’t let them win. Don’t letSantoswin.”

We sit on the back porch for a while longer, occasionally talking but mostly just breathing in the fresh air and soaking up the reassurance that comes from knowing Luc’s here, right beside me.

He’s lost and struggling right now, and I have no idea how to help him or what to do, but he has so much support around him. Although he might feel alone, he’s not. I can only hope he’ll soon realize as much, and perhaps even reach out to Dante or Enzo about what he went through. Far too many people around us know what it’s like to be held against your will, to be forced to do things you don’t want to do, but only they and Evie know what it’s like to survive at the hands of Giovanni and Santos. Even though Luc doesn’t trust them or show any inclination of wanting to get to know them, I hope that if he’s struggling, he will open up to them or, at the very least, talk to Evie or one of his friends. If there’s one thing I’ve learned these last few months, it’s that sharing your burdens doesn’t make you weak or weigh others down; it lifts you up, solidifies your friendships and relationships, and ultimately makes you stronger. We are all capable of surviving on our own, but we’re only able to live if we trust in others and open ourselves up to them.

“Luc, we… Oh, hey.” Jon grins at me. “Didn’t realize you were here.”

“Just wanted to check in, make sure all of you hadn’t driven poor Marcus completely insane.”

Jon laughs. “Not yet.” His gaze darts to Luc. “Marcus is taking us over to the clubhouse, if you wanna come help out.”

I tense but force myself to relax when Luc glances in my direction. It takes everything in me to give him an encouraging nod when all I want to do is wrap him up in bubble wrap and hide him in a closet. Except I know I can’t always protect him, and I can’t smother him, either. Keeping him cooped up in this house will only further impact his mental health. He needs a distraction and being surrounded by Rejects, I know he couldn’t be safer.

He gives a small, wry grin, as if he knows the internal struggle I’m currently battling before climbing to his feet and heading inside. I catch Jon’s eye before he moves to follow after him, his nod a silent promise to keep an eye on him. It helps, marginally, but I force myself to remain seated on the back porch step while I listen to Marcus usher them all outside, until the car engine has faded into the distance and quiet has resumed all around me. Only then do I get to my feet and go in search of Evie. She’s alone in the house—and probably thankful for the peace and quiet—but I know the only reason Marcus left her by herself is because all of us are right next door. Hell, Cain probably has cameras and tripwires set up around the outside of the house, ensuring he’ll know if anyone dares to come within ten feet of the property.

I don’t have to go far, as I find Evie already in the kitchen when I step through the screen door. She tenses as soon as she hears me, spinning with a kitchen knife clutched tightly in her hand. Even as I stop a safe distance away, I smirk, casting my eyes over the black skinny jeans—an old pair of mine—and the baggy hoodie—probably Cain’s—that she’s wearing. Based on pieces of information I’ve gathered from Oliver and Cain, Evie must be about my age, although drowning in the hoodie and with the cute, pink, fluffy socks on her feet, it’s hard to remember that.

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