Page 26 of Chaos & Carnage

“You think about that stuff, with her?”

“You don’t?” he volleys.

Of course, I fucking do. I just hadn’t realizedhedid. It brings a whole new sense of realism to all of this—to our incredibly complicated situation with Red. Surprisingly, when I think about my future with Red, he’s not fucking in it. I guess, I’d abstractly thought he and Enzo would go back to their part of the city when this was all done, and I dunno, Red would travel back and forth? Although, now that I actually think about the idea, I realize how asinine that is. How unfeasible it would be, how unfair. None of us could ask that of her. She’s not a kid to be passed back and forth between divorced parents who can’t stand to be in the same room as one another.

She deserves a place she can call home, somewhere she can be herself and feel comfortable. A house where Luc can have his own bedroom, maybe something with a yard, too. A home filled with love and laughter.

Shit, please don’t tell me that means I will have to share a house with this fucker.

I choose not to answer Dante, so the two of us are sitting in a tense, uncomfortable silence when Red appears.

“Playing nice?” she questions with a raised eyebrow, darting a wary glance between us as she crosses the room toward me.

“He’s still breathing, isn’t he?”

Dante scoffs. “Like I’d let you get anywhere near me.”

I pretend he no longer exists as I pull Red into my lap, burying my head in her neck and closing my eyes as I breathe her in.God, I needed this—her.She melts against me, shifting so she can run her fingers through my hair. Her touch feels like heaven, and I let myself have this moment to forget about everything that’s going on, to grieve the men I lost, to prepare for the battle to come, to accept that the future I once pictured for Red and me isn’t the one that’s going to play out.

All of those conflicting emotions crash through me, thrown together and churning as though caught up in a tornado, before I slowly release each of them. I bottle each emotion up in a helium balloon tied to a string and hold them up to the sky before letting go, watching as they drift into the distance until I once again feel that deep calm that I need in order to be the leader that I am, the partner that I am, the man that I need to be.

When I finally lift my face from the crook of Red’s neck, I find her stare latched on mine, swimming with concern. She holds my gaze in a silent question,are you okay?as her eyes search mine for the answer.No, but I’m holding it together—for you, for my men, for Evie.

All I see in her gaze is unwavering faith and confidence, and I latch on to that, using it to bolster me until I know she can see that confidence reflected back at her, a soft smile lifting her lips. She nods her head as if to say,you’ve got this, and I respond in kind.Damn right, I do.

When I turn my focus to the room, noticing that Enzo has joined us, all of those feelings are again tucked away, and I’m again the formidable leader of the Rejects once more. I don’t give a shit if they witnessed my vulnerable moment with Red, so long as they realize my vulnerability does not make me weak. Hell, it’s what makes me so headstrong, so driven. It’s why I’m so damn determined to make Giovanni and Grim pay and ensure no one else has to suffer at their hands ever again.

“Where’s Oliver?” Red asks, noticing his absence.

“He’s still at the clubhouse, wrapping up a few things. When he’s done, we all need to sit down and talk strategy.”

“We do,” Enzo agrees, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, his fingers tucked under his chin. “Today’s attack was only a test.”

“What do you mean?”

At her question, his eyes dart to Sawyer. “Did you notice it was mostly Bastards there today?”

“Yeah?”

“He used them to bait us. To assess how challenging of an opponent the Rejects will be. That’s why he hardly sent any of his own men. I’d hazard a guess that those men Dante killed were there to scope out the clubhouse and find out what they could about the Rejects' operation, as well as picking off as many of them as they could.”

“Well then, at least we killed his scouting party,” Sawyer says, a fleck of optimism in her tone. “He won’t know just how well armed we are.”

“No,” I agree, “but he knows we’re organized and ready for a fight.”

A cruel smile spreads across Dante’s face, making him look every bit of the mafia assassin he is. “Then let’s give him a fight he’ll never forget.”

Chapter 10

I manage to convince Cain to get some sleep while we wait for Oliver to get back. In the meantime, I decide to go next door and check on Luc and Evie. I know Cain checked on her when he got back, but I figure she might be glad for some female company. She must be ready to pull her hair out, being stuck in the same house as the kids for the last few days.

The commotion assaults my ears as soon as I open the door, yelling from the front room drowning out the sound of the TV playing in the background.

“I’m sick of watching your shit! It’s my turn to pick somethin’.”

Bickering ensues, and I roll my eyes as I poke my head into the living room. The room has been taken over by tall, lanky teenagers sprawled over the sofas and draping their legs off the arms of chairs.

I only linger long enough to notice Luc isn’t among them before walking past into the kitchen.

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